_Cling-cling!_ Curting rising? Well, 'ere goes once more then! (_Winding hard and addressing audience_). "Ladies and gen'l'men! The Himperial and Royal Grand Unionist Combination Waxworks Show is about to start for the season! Largest and most life-like set o' wax figgers ever exhibited to a hadmiring public!! As I wind you will perceive hunmistakeable signs of hanimation in 'is Grace the Nobble Dook; arter wich, with your kyind permission, I shall take a turn at the Illustrous Markis!!!"
SHOWMAN JOE. "LADIES AND GEN'L'MEN, 'IS GRACE THE DOOK WILL SHORTLY BEGIN TO SHOW SIGNS OF HANIMATION--HAFTER WHICH, WITH YOUR KIND PERMISSION, I WILL PERCEED TO TAKE A TURN AT THE MARKIS!"]
(_New Song to an Old Tune, for the New Woman._)
[The _Quarterly Review_ says that man will not marry the New Woman, which must be the final blow to her ambition.]
"Where are you going, Revolting Maid?" "As far as I may, fair Sir," she said.
"Shall I go with you, Revolting Maid?" "You may follow--behind me, Sir!" she said.
"What is your object, Revolting Maid?" "_Emancipation_, Sir!" she said.
"Will you marry, Revolting Maid?" "Perhaps--on my own terms, Sir!" she said.
"And what may those terms be, Revolting Maid?" "Absolute Liberty, Sir!" she said.
"Then _I_ shan't wed you, Revolting Maid!" "Did anyone ask you, Sir?" she said.
TITLE FOR NEW LONDON JAPANESE JOURNAL (WEEKLY).--"_The Happy Dispatch_, edited by HARI KARI."
When the much-enduring Dockers, In the city of the Smoke-Cloud, By the banks of the Tems-Ri-Va, Struck to gain a larger stipend, Lead them on did BURNSIWATHA.
And the ruler of these matters, Who is called the Bry-Tish-Pu-Blyck, Took the side of dock-gate casuals, Of the somewhat lordly stevedore, And informed the proud Dy-Reck-Tas That they soon must yield to reason; Gave its sympathy in gallons, Gave its coin to make a strike-fund; So the proud Dy-Reck-Tas yielded.
But when many moons had vanished, Came the rather wild KEIR-HAR-DI, Came TOM-MANN the earnest minded, Talked of "Independent Labour," Soundly rated BURNSIWATHA And all useful Labour-Members.
Then the strong man, BURNSIWATHA, Hurled their language back with interest, With the breathing of his nostrils, With the tempest of his anger, Hurled it back on his assailants. Said TOM-MANN was feather-headed, Said the rather wild KEIR-HAR-DI Was no better than a "bounder."