"I trembled at the thought of attending on so sacred an ordinance, and with so holy a band of brethren; but as I could not feel justified in the neglect of the privilege, I came forward in the worthiness of my Lord, and I believe with his fear before my eyes. A deep solemnity rested on the whole assembly, and our souls, at the close, were seemingly on flame for the realms above. I was never happier in my life at the close of a meeting.
"Mr. M., having appointments over St. Francis River, wished me to take a journey with him. I complied. We crossed the river, visited several families, had one meeting; then passing up the river to Westbury (eight miles), through a woody region mostly, we arrived in the afternoon much fatigued, as we had to encounter the buffetings of a violent storm. On our way, I had fallen back and rode several miles alone in the most serious meditations. I clearly saw the hardships of a missionary life, and felt that I must enter the field. We found a loving company of brethren, who received us kindly, and who appeared to be steadfast in faith. We held several good meetings in the place. Some were baptized. I also made the acquaintance of Mr. Zenas Adams, a young minister who had just begun to preach. This journey increased my confidence, as Mr. Moulton was a discerning man, and qualified both from knowledge and sympathy to assist young ministers. The conversations with Mr. Adams were also advantageous. He was but a few months my elder.
"I had now arrived at a crisis in which I must earnestly dispose of every practical objection. I had said, 'I am a child--I cannot speak.' I was but twenty years of age; I thought my friends might be unwilling. Soon, however, my father gave me my freedom; and I felt that there was much meaning yet in the good scripture which saith, 'It shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak.' I plead a comparative illiteracy, as the minister is ordained to teach, and ought to command the various resources of knowledge. This objection also fled before that potent scripture, James 1: 5, 'If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.' I was satisfied of this, that if God had called me to the work, with health, youth, and industry on my part, He would give me every necessary qualification. As swimming is learned by swimming, and agriculture is acquired by its active pursuit, it struck me that fidelity in the new work would secure the only effectual skill in conducting it. I thought of a kind father's house, of my loving parents who had watched over my childhood, of the four brothers and four sisters with whom I had lived in the greatest friendship; and I did not omit to think of the needful renunciation of worldly prospects, and of the censures I should get from some, and the various treatment I had reason to expect from the world if I went out as a faithful, uncompromising ambassador of Christ. To take the parting hand with my dear relatives, and to live in the world as a _stranger_ and _foreigner_, called up many painful emotions in my breast as I glanced into the uncertain future. Still no tide of emotion could carry me back in my purposes, and with much feeling I felt to say: