While Samuel wuz musin’ erbout deah quare names, who should cum ’long but Jesse, deah pa. So Samuel say, “Wha you gwine?” An’ Jesse say, “Ter help Saul ter ’noint meh youngis’ son.” An’ Saul meck uh ’miration erbout his oldes’ boys, an’ say, “How many chillun you got, anyway?” An’ Jesse say, “Six sons, an’ de youngis’ uh sweet boy name Dabid, fair ub eyes, lubly coun’nance, an’ uh monstus cunnin’ hyarp player. I s’pose he’s meh favorite son, kase he so bad; dat’s why I wan’ you ter ’noint him.” An’ Saul say, “Wha is he? I will ’noint him an’ meck him uh king.” Jesse wuz so s’prise he almos’ had uh spavin, an’ say, “Dat chile nuffin but uh boy, an’ you kyant think how bad he is. Mo’n dat, I kyant well spare him; he mines de sheep, sells de hides ub de beases; an’ ’tain’ nuffin fuh him ter kill uh ox kyart load uh week, ub lions, bars and striped tigers.”
Belubbed, Jesse didn’ wan’ ter say anything ergin his son, but de fac’ is, dat boy spent mos’ ub his time playin’ de hyarp wid uh cunnin’ arm an’ han’ ub steal, an’ wussa yit, young ez he wuz, meddowtatin’ an’ longin’ fuh Phareo’s daughter an’ other damsels.
Jesse bu’nt insects erroun’ hissef, an’ ’pon ’flection ’cided ter let he son be uh king, an’ git salbation.
Befo’ I go any fudder wid dis King Dabid narration I wan’ ter say ter de chillun in de chuch, you don’ hab ter be so strong ter de looks ter be gran’. De feebles’ an’ de baddes’ chile in dis chuch may meck de strongis’ man an’ de bes’ Babtis’ preacher.
King Dabid wuz tuck fuh uh king, tho’ he wuz de younges’ an’ de feebles’ ub dem boys, wid uh lubly face an’ long curls, jes’ de way Miss Henrietta’s use’ ter grow—but heah is de application:
De Lawd look in de hyart ub little Dabid; he saw brabery, an’ de future writer ub Sams; so he right way gib him uh arm ub steal an’ meck him king!
Yas; de Lawd will gib you uh erligious arm ub steal, meck ebery chile in dis chuch uh king in his army ub salbation, an’ mebbe uh Sams writer, ef’n you intimate little Dabid.
Well, arfter dis’ gression, I cum ter de time when Dabid grow up, hab uh beard, git mad wid Saul an’ de Flistines, an’ meck his barbers cut orf one side ub de Flistines’ whiskus ter tell dem in battle fum his soldiers; so when Goliar heah tell ub it he larf, stroke he beard, an’ say: “He nuffin’ but uh sassy boy.”