426. Some gentlemen being at a tavern together, for want of better diversion, one proposed play; but, said another of the company, I have fourteen good reasons against gaming. What are they? said another. In the first place, answered he, I have no money. Oh! said the other, if you had four hundred reasons, you need not name another.
427. A parson, in the country, taking his text from St. Matthew, chap. viii. 14, ‘And Peter’s wife’s mother lay sick of a fever,’ preached for three Sundays together on the same subject. Soon after, two country fellows going across the church-yard, and hearing the bell toll, one asked the other, who it was for? Nay, I can’t tell you; perhaps, replied he, it is for Peter’s wife’s mother, for she has been sick of a fever these three weeks.
428. The Hon. Mr. L― one morning, at the late Sir Robert Walpole’s levee, as I sat by them, asked John Lawton for a pinch of snuff, who told him he had none in his box, for he seldom took any, but now and then to keep him awake at church. That, said the other, is the most improper thing you can do there; for it quite destroys the natural operation of the sermon.
429. I remember in the reign of the late Queen Anne, when disputes ran high between Whig and Tory, some persons suffered party to mix in every their minutest action. A Tory would not cock his hat in the same manner that a Whig did, nor a Whig lady patch her face on the same side that the Tory ladies patched theirs. A pleasant instance of this strict adherence to party in trivial affairs, was Dick W―l, who, being sent to parliament on the Tory interest, was resolved to do nothing but what was on that side. The house, a few days after he took his seat in it, happening to sit late, a motion was made for candles to be brought in, which being put to the vote, Dick pulled a high-flying member, who sat near him, by the sleeve, and asked him if candles were for the church? And being answered in the affirmative, very readily gave his voice for them, which otherwise he would not have done.
430. A young fellow, not quite so wise as Solomon, eating some Cheshire cheese full of mites, one night at the tavern: Now, said he, have I done as much as Sampson, for I have slain my thousands and my ten thousands. Yes, answered one of the company, and with the same weapon too, the jawbone of an ass.