Everything now is signed, sealed, and delivered. Gidger’s cottage really belongs to me.
I have engaged a most enchanting charwoman: she cleans silver and brass better than any one else in the world, and polishes furniture till it dazzles, but she can’t scrub, she has an ’inside.’ It is of deep and lasting interest to her, and must be such a consolation on a wet day when one wants a hobby in the house. She is never tired of talking of it. It has a way of cropping up in every conversation, like the head of Charles the First in Mr Dick’s memorial. Ross calls her ’Our Lady of Ventre,’ which sounds more like a Belgian cathedral than it really is! She is very emaciated and her looks are more ’delicate’ than her conversation.
’You see, mum, it’s my inside,’ she says; ’what I’ve suffered no one don’t know but those what ’as it; why, one hoperation alone they took out——’ but I spare you. So I have a second woman to scrub, and between them they are getting the house like a new pin, and it will burst upon the staff in all its pristine and primeval cleanness. I am a little afraid of the staff. I understand that English servants in these days need ’standing up to.’ I can manage a man all right, having had a vast experience, and Ross keeps my hand in, but a woman—how does one stand up to her?
To-day the saucepans and baking tins arrived. I was thrilled, so was ’Our Lady of Ventre,’ she helped me to unpack them while the other lady scrubbed the shelves.
’Could you wash them, do you think?’ I asked.
’Oh, yes, mum, as long as I don’t do no scrubbing; you see, it’s my——’ but I changed the conversation quickly by asking how her husband was.
’I ’ad a field card yesterday’ (I wish I had), she answered, ’’e was all right then; my ’usband’s in the calvery, in the calvery ’e is, always was a one for ’orses.’
’Fond of hall dumb hanimals, my ’usband is.’
’’E is that,’ she said, waving the lid of a saucepan at me, ’never laid a ’and on me or any of the children, and what I’ve cost ’im in doctors you never would believe; you see, it’s my inside, mum,’ and she took a header into it, which I was powerless to prevent. ’Why, when I first went out walkin’ with ’im, mum, only nineteen I was at the time, I got such a hawful pain in my inside they took me to the ’orsepital, took me kidney right out they did, never thought I would ’ave lived they didn’t. Me young man, ’im what’s me ’usband now, you understand, mum, ’e come to see me when I began to git over it a bit; fair upset ’e was when the sister told ’im about me kidney. I says to ’im, "Alb," I says, "I’m sure if we gets married I shall cost you a hawful lot in doctors, and as I lay ’ere," I said, "I’ve thought it’s ’ardly fair to expect a man to feel the same to ’is young woman when she ain’t got all ’er orgins, and if you feel you’d rather ’ave some other young lady, why, say so now," I says, and I cried, I did, I was that weak and low, for I thought a deal of Alb, I did, and I didn’t want to lose ’im, mum.’