_Sir Per_. Yes, sir, it would have contributed--and greatly have contributed to assist me.
_Sir Per_. Nay, sir, it might have prevented the squabble entirely; for as my lord is proud of you for a son-in-law, and is fond of your little French songs, your stories, and your bon-mots, when you are in the humour,--and guin you had but staid--and been a little jolly--and drank half a score bumpers with him, till he got a little tipsy--I am sure, when we had him in that mood, we might have settled the point as I could wish it, among ourselves, before the lawyers came: but now, sir, I do not ken what will be the consequence.
_Eger_. But when a man is intoxicated, would that have been a seasonable time to settle business, sir?
_Sir Per_. The most seasonable, sir:--for, sir, when my lord is in his cups--his suspicion is asleep--and his heart is aw jollity, fun, and guid fellowship; and sir, can there be a happier moment than that for a bargain, or to settle a dispute with a friend? What is it you shrug up your shoulders at, sir?
_Eger_. At my own ignorance, sir;--for I understand neither the philosophy nor the morality of your doctrine.
_Sir Per_. I know you do not, sir,--and, what is worse--you never wull, understand it, as you proceed: in one word, Charles, I have often told you, and now again I tell you, once for aw, that the manoeuvres of pliability are as necessary to rise in the world, as wrangling and logical subtlety are to rise at the bar: why you see, sir, I have acquired a noble fortune, a princely fortune--and how do you think I raised it?
_Eger_. Doubtless, sir, by your abilities.
_Sir Per_. Doubtless, sir, you are a blockhead:--nai, sir, I'll tell you how I raised it. Sir, I raised it--by bowing; [_Bows ridiculously low._] by bowing: sir, I never could stand straight in the presence of a great man, but always bowed, and bowed, and bowed--as it were by instinct.
_Eger_. How do you mean by instinct, sir?
_Sir Per_. How do I mean by instinct? why, sir, I mean by--by--by the instinct of interest, sir, which is the universal instinct of mankind. Sir, it is wonderful to think, what a cordial, what an amicable, nay, what an infallible influence, bowing has upon the pride and vanity of human nature. Charles, answer me sincerely, have you a mind to be convinced of the force of my doctrine, by example and demonstration?