"Stop," cried the Englishman. "Does anybody ever come to your city now? Any artists, for instance?"
"Ah, no, sir! _Pittori, scultori, perche?_ But there are voyagers some time. The month past all the Society of the Engineers of Japan are comed, and the hotels were fulls, and all those sirs were much contenteds and sayed the city was marvellous. She shall go now, sir, to visit the bridge?"
"No," said the Englishman, emphatically, "not I! Let me pay my bill here and your fee, whatever it is, and take me back to the railway station as fast as you can. There are plenty of bridges in London. I am going back there."
AT BRUSSELS.--_Mrs. Trickleby_ (_pointing to announcement in grocer's window, and spelling it out_).
_Jambon d' Yorck._ What's that mean, Mr. T.?
_Mr. T._ (_who is by way of being a linguist_). Why, good Yorkshire preserves, of course. What did you suppose it was--Dundee marmalade?
"These 'ere cigars at three a 'na'penny 'as just as delicate a flavour as them as we pays a penny a piece for at 'ome!"]
[Illustration: L'EMBARRAS DES RICHESSES. AT THE CAFÉ DES AMBASSADEURS
_The Garsong_ (_to Jones and Brown, from Clapham_). "But your dinner, gentlemans! He go to make 'imself cold, if you eat 'im not!"]
DEAR CHARLIE,--You heard as I'd left good old England agen, I'll be bound. Not for Parry alone, mate, this time--I've bin doing the Reglar Swiss Round. Mong Blong, Mare de Glass, and all that, Charlie--guess it's a sight you'd enjoy To see 'Arry, the Hislington Masher, togged out as a Merry Swiss Boy.
'Tis a bit of a stretch from the "Hangel," a jolly long journey by rail. But I made myself haffable like; I'd got hup on the toppingest scale; Shammy-hunter at Ashley's not in it with me, I can tell yer, old chap; And the way as the passengers stared at me showed I wos fair on the rap.
Talk of hups and downs, Charlie! North Devon I found pooty steep, as you know. But wot's Lynton roads to the Halps, or the Torrs to that blessed Young Frow? I got 'andy with halpenstocks, Charlie, and never came _much_ of a spill; But I think, arter all, that, for comfort, I rayther prefer Primrose 'Ill.
But that's _ontry nous_, dont cher know; keep my pecker hup proper out 'ere. 'Arry never let on to them Swiss as he felt on the swivel--no fear! When I slipped down a bloomin' _crevassy_, I _did_ do a bit of a 'owl, On them glasheers, to keep your foot fair, you want claws, like a cat on the prowl.