The poet reports something of the talk at table; and here occurs one of the most admired passages of the poem, the light irony of which it is hard to reproduce in a version. One of the guests, in a strain of affected sensibility, has been denouncing man's cruelty to animals:
Thus he discourses; and a gentle tear Springs, while he speaks, into thy lady's eyes. She recalls the day-- Alas, the cruel day!--what time her lap-dog, Her beauteous lap-dog, darling of the Graces, Sporting in youthful gayety, impressed The light mark of her ivory tooth upon The rude foot of a menial; he, with bold And sacrilegious toe, flung her away. Over and over thrice she rolled, and thrice Rumpled her silken coat, and thrice inhaled With tender nostril the thick, choking dust, Then raised imploring cries, and “Help, help, help!” She seemed to call, while from the gilded vaults Compassionate Echo answered her again, And from their cloistral basements in dismay The servants rushed, and from the upper rooms The pallid maidens trembling flew; all came. Thy lady's face was with reviving essence Sprinkled, and she awakened from her swoon. Anger and grief convulsed her still; she cast A lightning glance upon the guilty menial, And thrice with languid voice she called her pet, Who rushed to her embrace and seemed to invoke Vengeance with her shrill tenor. And revenge Thou hadst, fair poodle, darling of the Graces. The guilty menial trembled, and with eyes Downcast received his doom. Naught him availed His twenty years' desert; naught him availed His zeal in secret services; for him In vain were prayer and promise; forth he went, Spoiled of the livery that till now had made him Enviable with the vulgar. And in vain He hoped another lord; the tender dames Were horror-struck at his atrocious crime, And loathed the author. The false wretch succumbed With all his squalid brood, and in the streets With his lean wife in tatters at his side Vainly lamented to the passer-by.
It would be quite out of taste for the lover to sit as apathetic as the husband in the presence of his lady's guests, and he is to mingle gracefully in the talk from time to time, turning it to such topics as may best serve to exploit his own accomplishments. As a man of the first fashion, he must be in the habit of seeming to have read Horace a little, and it will be a pretty effect to quote him now; one may also show one's acquaintance with the new French philosophy, and approve its skepticism, while keeping clear of its pernicious doctrines, which insidiously teach--