So Quiet on the Canine Front is a 1930 American comedy short film, from Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, that parodies Universal Pictures' celebrated anti-war drama All Quiet on the Western Front, the winner, on November 5, 1930, at the 3rd Academy Awards, of the Award for Best Picture (referenced at the time as the Award for Outstanding Production).
The cast consists of performing dogs whose chewing or barking jaw movements are overdubbed with human voices. The third of nine black-and-white two-reel Dogville Comedies directed for MGM between 1929 and 1931 by Zion Myers and Jules White, both of whom also wrote, produced and provided voices, the film has been intermittently broadcast on Turner Classic Movies and is available on DVD as part of the Dogville Shorts Collection.
Plot
Fie, fie, gentlemen! fie, fie! As a loud orchestral rendition of music for the "Over There" chorus fills the soundtrack, the MGM lion is seen emitting three silent roars, followed by a title card listing the film's credits.
Scene 1: A class composed of 20 small and medium-sized dogs of various breeds, wearing jackets, shirts and stiff-necked collars, is instructed by a similarly dressed dog "professor" sporting round eyeglasses, with a 1910s bowtie cravat around the neck of his stiff shirt. The subject is anatomy, replete with a dog chart, focusing on "the south end of the backbone — for thereby hangs a tail". One of the "students", a small bulldog, is addressed as Mr. Barker and questioned regarding his disinterest as to the functions of the tail. His response, "please sir, because I haven't any tail", elicits derisive laughter from the dog sitting alongside him and they engage in "sez you, sez me" insults popularized by the 1926 silent hit film about World War I, What Price Glory. While the professor restores order by chastising them, "fie, fie, gentlemen! fie, fie!", a dog newspaper vendor is seen shouting out, "all extry! wuxtry! war declared! Airedale Republic declares war on the Kingdom of Dachshund! The professor immediately exhorts his students to volunteer — "it's nice outdoor work and a fine chance to meet some swell French mamas". The laughing dog states, "I'm crazy to go — say, how about you, slacker?" Barker responds, "I'm crazy, too — I'll go". All others also offer to enlist.
Camp Poodle – – the Airedale rookie camp
Scene 2 intertitle card: "Camp Poodle – – the Airedale rookie camp." A group of uniformed small dogs standing on their hind legs is told by a dog drill sergeant that "if you think this army is going to tolerate any sloppy drilling, you're barking up the wrong tree. Now snap into it and get that hang-dog look off your faces." Continuing to move on their hind lags, the dogs go through a drill routine.
Scene 3: Gathered inside a large military tent, various breeds of dogs, wearing military uniforms and, in some cases, also military hats, are singing chorus-style, "There's a Long Long Trail A-Winding" accompanied by one dog using his paws to hold a harmonica to his muzzle. Another dog is laying out cards for a game of solitaire, still another is rolling dice, and yet another is walking (on his hind legs) sentry duty as the bugler raises a trumpet to his muzzle to sound "Taps". As the melody continues, the canine soldiers, now laying on their army beds, blow out candles or douse them with spittle and go to sleep, making loud human snoring sounds.
Entraining for "Over There" Scene 4 intertitle card: "Entraining for "Over There". Various dogs in male and female civilian clothes (suits and long dresses) are at two railroad ticket windows, while a dog orchestra is playing "The Stars and Stripes Forever", with one dog playing tuba, one moving a slide trombone (with a music sheet), one on drum and one (wearing oversized glasses) on the flute. A German Shepherd photographer is taking their picture, with two of the dogs posed behind a cutout of Don Quixote and Sancho Panza archetypes holding World War I-era rifles. Other dogs are saying goodbye to their families, as a mother dog is crying and shouting, "my baby! my baby! They're taking away my baby! I didn't raise my boy to be a sausage!" (correlating the sausage "hot dog" with "I Didn't Raise My Boy to Be a Soldier"). Other dog family members, wives and sweethearts are also howling their goodbyes.