Perhaps a short sample will give a better idea of the game than any description. I take one from a little tournament in which I competed a few days ago. I was highly commended, but it was thought I displayed a little too much intelligence. This is one of the pleasing features of Platitudes; when one loses, things like that are somehow said, as they are never said, for instance, at Bridge. From this specimen the beginner will learn the right style and method. Only by study of the best models and by constant practice can he attain anything like proficiency.
_He._ What a world we live in, do we not? (_This is a very common opening._)
_He._ The age is so complex, so full of rush and hurry. Everyone is running after money, are they not?
_She_ (_in a tone of gentle correction_). It is deplorable. Did you read Mr. Goldstein's speech the other day? I thought it so sweet! He said that the possession of wealth entailed great responsibilities.
_He._ How like him! (_After a pause_) And how true! Yes, things are in a bad way.
_She._ Too dreadful. I think it is so terrible when quite nice people are positively inconvenienced. It makes one think of the French Revolution.
_He._ Ah! Yes, the French Revolution. Well, well, the good old days are gone.
_He_ (_sighing heavily_). Dear, dear, dear, dear! May I have some teacake?
_She._ Oh do! but I'm afraid they're cold.
_He._ I like them cold. I think they are so much cooler then.
[_There was a short interval here when the supporters of each party gathered round and gave advice and encouragement. The lady seemed as fresh as a fiddle, but the man was very exhausted and had to have a spirituous stimulant. After a quarter-of-an-hour's interval the game was resumed._]
_She._ Look at the fashionable ladies and their dogs! The sums they lavish on them!
_He._ Oh, it's disgraceful. The Government ought to do something.
_He_ (_much struck with this_). You are quite right.
_She._ But mind you, I'm fond of animals myself.
_He._ Oh, so am I. I dote on dogs. You know, I call the horse a noble animal--that's what I call the horse.
_She_ (_after a pause_). I call the camel the ship of the desert.
_He._ Ah, very witty, very clever. I see you have a sense of humour. "Ship of the desert"--that's good.