"Nautch Girl nearly done?" I cried. "Why, where _is_ the Nautch Girl!"
"That Nautch Girl is dance now, ver' good, ver' good. Lonndonn Charlee, he likee Nautch Girl, ver' good."
The person we had taken for a Christy Minstrel was the wantonly winding, lingeringly languishing Nautch Girl!!!
After that we visited other "side shows," and saw more dejected Hindoos perform marvellous feats of jugglery and conjuring, with the aid of trained mongooses, monkeys, and goats. Also an extraordinary game of football by Burmese players, who catch a glass ball on their necks and ankles as dexterously as Ranjitsinhji catches a cricket ball with his hands. Also we saw the acrobats who balance themselves on a bamboo pole by gripping it with their stomachs--a trick which I have since practised with but incomplete success.
We also saw the juggling of an Indian humorist with two attendants, who, if they did not realise all the wonders we have read about Indian conjurers, did at least perform miracles with the English language and the linked sweetness of music too long drawn out.
The attendants sat on the ground and beat monotonous drums, what time the conjurer walked to and fro and played a peculiarly baneful type of Indian bagpipe.
"Ram, ram, ram, ram, kurte heren ugh!" sang the conjurer.
"Ugh! ugh! ugh! ugh!" sang the chorus, rolling their eyes and swaying their shoulders.
"Baen, deina, juldee, chup, chup!" droned the conjurer.
"Chup, chup, chup, chup," wailed the chorus.
"Hum mugurer hue! hum padre hue! hum booker se mur jata hue!" cried the conjurer.
"Hue! hue! hue! hue!" replied the chorus.
Then, "one, two, three, four, five, nine, sumting, fifteen, twenty," cried the conjurer, fumbling with his conjuring gear; "see dere, dere de egg; Lonndonn chicken egg, chicken egg, chicken egg."
"Chicken egg, chicken egg," repeated the chorus in triumphant tones; and banged the mournful drums.
By weird Hindu enchantment, they beguiled Captandem to the platform to assist, and having got him there, proceeded to make him wish he wasn't.
"Lonndonn Charlee," cried the conjurer, triumphantly introducing him; "Lonndonn Charlee, Lonndonn Charlee, say now uchmeechulouchuadmee," and grinned like a heathen.
"Uchmeechulouchuadmee," wailed the chorus.