So what with paying for the use of the skates, and the use of the Brandy, and the use of the too boys, and the use of a handsum Cab to take me to the "Grand," that was rayther a deer ten minutes skating, and as it was reelly and trewly my fust attemt at that poplar and xciting passtime, I think I may safely affirm--as I have alreddy done to my better harf--whose langwidge, when I related my hadwentur, is scarcely worth repeating, as it was most certenly not complementary--that it shall be my larst. ROBERT.
[Illustration: REMINISCENCES OF SPORT IN THE SNOW.]
They tell me thou art cold, my sweet-- A fact that scarcely odd is. Gales half so cruel never beat Against poor human bodies. Cupid's attire is far too light To weather Thirty Fahrenheit.
How can a glow the soul entrance, When frostbite nips the finger, And blushes quit the countenance To nigh the nostril linger! Warmth were a miracle, in sight And grip of Thirty Fahrenheit.
Chill! chill to _me_, my Paradise!! I'll not complain or curse on. One cannot well be otherwise To any mortal person. Mere icebergs ambulant, we fight Ferocious Thirty Fahrenheit.
Cold art thou? Not so cold as I-- Nought living could be colder. I'm far too cold to sob or sigh, Still less in passion smoulder. I'm turning fast to something quite As numb as Thirty Fahrenheit.
INFORMATION REQUIRED.--"Sir, I see a Volume advertised entitled, _Unspoken Sermons_. I should be glad to know where these are preached, as that's the place for yours truly, ONE WHO SNORES."
NEW BOOK OF IRISH LIFE.--_The Bedad's Sons_. By the Author of the tale of Indian Life, _The Begum's Daughters_.
[Illustration: THE DELIGHTS OF TRIAL BY JURY.
THESE GENTLEMEN ARE EXPECTED TO BE IN A JUDICIAL FRAME OF MIND AFTER HANGING ABOUT THE PRECINCTS OF THE COURT FOR SEVERAL DAYS, UNDER PENALTY OF A HEAVY FINE, WHILE THEIR PRIVATE BUSINESS IN THE CITY AND ELSEWHERE IS GOING TO THE DOGS. (WHY SHOULD NOT HALF-PAY OFFICERS DO THE WORK, AND RELIEVE BUSY MEN?)]
_House of Commons, Thursday, January 22_.--Both Houses met to-day after Christmas Recess. No QUEEN's Speech; no moving and seconding of Address; no Royal Commission and procession of SPEAKER to Lords. All seems strange, and spirits generally a little depressed. Only ROBERT FOWLER rises superior to circumstances of hour. Blustering about the Lobby "like Boreas," says CAUSTON.