"Quite over," assented Alden, emphatically.
"And it is not to renew that subject that I asked you to stay and listen to me."
"No," said Alden, gently, "I presume not."
"But, though all thoughts of love are forever over between us, yet I can not bear that we should live at enmity. As for me, I am not your enemy, Alden Lytton."
"Nor am I yours, Mrs. Grey. You and I can live as strangers without being enemies."
"Live as strangers! Oh, but that is just what would break my heart utterly! Why should we live as strangers? If all love is over between us, and if we are still not enemies, if we have forgiven each other, why should we two live as strangers in this little town? Why may we not meet at least as the common friends of every day?"
"Because the memory of the past would preclude the possibility of our meeting pleasantly or profitably."
"Oh, Alden, you are very hard! You have not forgiven me!"
"Mrs. Grey, I must regard your actions--the actions that separated us--as they really are," answered Alden, sadly and firmly, as he arose and took his hat to leave the room.
"No, no, no; _don't_ go yet! You _must_ hear me--you _shall_ hear me! Even a convicted murderer is allowed to speak for himself!" she exclaimed, with passionate tears.
"You must regard my actions as they really are, you say. Ah, but the extenuating circumstances, the temptations, the motives--aye, the motives!--have you ever thought of them?"
"I can see no motive that could justify your acts," said Alden, coldly.
"No, not justify--I do not justify them even to myself--not justify, but _palliate_ them, Alden--palliate them at least in your eyes, if in no others."
"Oh, Alden, all was planned for your sake!"
"For _my_ sake? I pray you do not say that!"
"Listen, then, and consider all the circumstances. I loved you and promised to be your wife at that far distant day when you should come into a living law practice. But I was homeless, penniless and helpless. I had lost my situation in the school, and I had no prospect of getting another. The term of my visit to Emma Cavendish had nearly expired and I had nowhere to go. Governor Cavendish loved me with the idolatrous love of an old man for a young woman, and besought me to be his wife with such insane earnestness that I thought my refusal would certainly be his death, especially as it was well known that he was liable to apoplexy and that any excitement might bring on a fatal attack. Under all these circumstances I think I must have lost my senses; for I reasoned with myself--most falsely and fatally reasoned with myself thus: Why should not I, who am about to be cast out homeless and penniless upon the wide world--why should not I secure myself a home and save this old man's life for a few years longer by accepting his love and becoming his wife? It is true that I do not love him, but I honor him very much. And I would be the comfort of his declining years. He could not live long, and when he should come to die I should inherit the widow's third of all his vast estates. And then, after a year of mourning should be over, I could marry my true love, and bring him a fortune too. There, Alden, the reasoning was all false, wicked and fatal. I know that now. But oh, Alden, it was not so much for myself as for others that I planned thus! I thought to have blessed and comforted the old man's declining years, and after his death to have brought a fortune to you. These were my motives. They do not justify, but at least they palliate my conduct."