The devil of subornation came next, which was a good-complexioned and a well-timbered devil, to my great amazement I must acknowledge, for I had never seen any devils till now but what were extreme ugly. The air of his face was so familiar to me that methought I had seen it in a thousand several places; sometime under a veil, sometime open; now under one shape and then under another. One while he called himself child’s-play; another while, kind entertainment; here, payment; there, restitution; and, in a third place, alms: but, in fine, I could never learn his right name. I remember in some places I have heard him called inheritance, profit, good cheap, patrimony, gratitude. Here he was called doctor; there, bachelor. With the lawyers, solicitors, and attorneys, he passed under the name of right; and the confessors called him charity.
He was well accompanied, and styled himself Satan’s lieutenant; but there was a devil of consequence that opposed him, might and main, and made this proclamation of himself. “Be it known,” says he, “that I am the great embroiler and politic entangler of affairs. The deluder of princes, the pretext of the unworthy, and the excuse of tyrants. I can make black, white; and give what colour I please to the foulest actions in nature. If I had a mind to overturn the world, and put all in a general confusion, I could do it; for I have it in my power to banish order and reason out of it; to turn sauciness and importunity into merit, example into necessity; to give law to success, authority to infamy, and credit to insolence. I have the tongues of all counsellors at my girdle, and they shall speak neither more nor less than just as I please. In short, that’s easy to me which others account impossible, and while I live ye need never fear either virtue, justice, or good government in the world. This devil of subornation, that talks of his lieutenancy, what could he ever have done without me? He’s a rascal that no person of quality would admit into his company, if I did not fit him with vizors and disguises. Let him hold his tongue then, and know himself; and let me hear no more of those disputes about the lieutenancy of hell, for I have Lucifer’s broad seal to show for my title to’t.”