“My erpinion is dat Ho Ho wuz de nick name fuh one ub de Petracks, fuh I once heah Mars Pinckney say in uh sermon dat Ab’ham, Isaac er Jacob, I fogit which, dwelt in de Souf country.
“Zacharyhy knew how ter spressify hissef. ’Tain’ no use mentionin’ gre’t people all de time. Damon nose how ter spressify hissef _sometimes_, but not ter night. He wudn’ interjuice Rash-nal, Pus-nal, Horace, Shakespeare, an’ all sorts ub animals’ tails in dis rebate, ef’n he wan’t skeetin’ [skating] on thin ice, an’ fustyfied.
“Mo’n dat, is da _any_ pusson heah dat s’poses Zacharyhy, whose Pa wuz uh king, would put all dat condidence in uh Japne er Chine?
“Lars’ but not leas’, Little Billy say he thinks he read somewha in de Bible dat Ho Ho hab a beard. Now, ef’n de Japnes an’ Chinese don’ hab beards dese days, ’twuz ornpossible dey had beards dem days.”
Uncle Reubin Viney: “Dis hab bin uh pow’ful arg’ment, an’ arfter careful meddowtatin’, I ’sposed ter think Ho Ho uh Japne wid two Chine crosses, but it’s uh subjec’ ub gre’t consequation; dafo’ I pint Pawson Phil Demby, Deacon Damon Danridge an’ Deacon Rasmus Jasper Jemes arbiters futto such de Scripturs, an’ ef’n dey fine Ho Ho had heavy whiskus den I ’cide Ho Ho wan’ no Japne er Chine.”
Little Billy: “Pawson Demby, hit woudn’ s’prise me ef’n hoe-cake wuz _Ho Ho_ cake, name arfter Ho Ho. John Poney al’ays sez ho ho cake.”
Tilly Mink: “Dat’s kase he stutters! Let dat man’s tung ’lone, Billy; you no he tung-tide.”
Deacon Rasmus Jasper Jemes (with great ostentation): “Uncle Reubin, it’s bad ’nuff ter hab Horace, Rash-nal, Pus-nal an’ Shakespeare in dis rebate, an’ wussa still ter call Ho Ho uh Japne er Chine, but ter call de sweet hoe-cake uh Japne er Chine cake, is mo’ dan I kin ondastan, an’ hit’s scanlous an’ ornichious.”
De summer night hit’s lubly when you wa’kin wid yo’ gal An’ she sweetah dan de honey ub de bee; An’ she ’low dat you kyant kiss huh, kase hit ain’ rash-nal, At de grapevine hangin’ by de holly tree.
But de summer night gits lublier, when swingin’ ’side dat gal, An’ yo’ ahm a’mos’ destracted ’roun’ huh waise; Kase she look inter yo’ face, an’ say, “Ain’ you pus-nal?” When you go down on huh mouf an’ teck uh tas’e.
Da’s no swing like de grapevine! hit’s sut’ny de bes’, Kase you hab ter set ornpropper all de time, You swing so close togedda dat you kine er mus’ caress, Fuh you al’ays got dat black gal on yo’ mine.