“Don’t hurry yourself,” said Sir Patrick. “Collect your ideas. I can wait! I can wait!”
Arnold collected his ideas--and committed a second mistake. He determined on feeling his way cautiously at first. Under the circumstances (and with such a man as he had now to deal with), it was perhaps the rashest resolution at which he could possibly have arrived--it was the mouse attempting to outmanoeuvre the cat.
“You have been very kind, Sir, in offering me the benefit of your experience,” he began. “I want a word of advice.”
“Suppose you take it sitting?” suggested Sir Patrick. “Get a chair.” His sharp eyes followed Arnold with an expression of malicious enjoyment. “Wants my advice?” he thought. “The young humbug wants nothing of the sort--he wants my niece.”
Arnold sat down under Sir Patrick’s eye, with a well-founded suspicion that he was destined to suffer, before he got up again, under Sir Patrick’s tongue.
“I am only a young man,” he went on, moving uneasily in his chair, “and I am beginning a new life--”
“Any thing wrong with the chair?” asked Sir Patrick. “Begin your new life comfortably, and get another.”
“There’s nothing wrong with the chair, Sir. Would you--”
“Would I keep the chair, in that case? Certainly.”
“My good fellow, I’m waiting to advise you. (I’m sure there’s something wrong with that chair. Why be obstinate about it? Why not get another?)”
“Please don’t notice the chair, Sir Patrick--you put me out. I want--in short--perhaps it’s a curious question--”
“I can’t say till I have heard it,” remarked Sir Patrick. “However, we will admit it, for form’s sake, if you like. Say it’s a curious question. Or let us express it more strongly, if that will help you. Say it’s the most extraordinary question that ever was put, since the beginning of the world, from one human being to another.”
“It’s this!” Arnold burst out, desperately. “I want to be married!”
“That isn’t a question,” objected Sir Patrick. “It’s an assertion. You say, I want to be married. And I say, Just so! And there’s an end of it.”
Arnold’s head began to whirl. “Would you advise me to get married, Sir?” he said, piteously. “That’s what I meant.”
“Oh! That’s the object of the present interview, is it? Would I advise you to marry, eh?”