Did you ever sit and ponder Sit and wonder Sit and think Why we’re here and what this life is all about? It’s a problem that has driven many brainy men to drink, It’s the weirdest thing they’ve tried to figure out, About a thousand theories all the scientists can show But never yet have proved a reason why With all we’ve thought and all we’re taught Why, all we seem to know is we’re born And live a little while And then we die. Life’s a very funny proposition after all. Three meals a day A whole lot to say, When you haven’t got the coin You’re always in the way. Everybody’s fighting as we wend our way along, Every fellow claims the other fellow’s in the wrong. Hurried and worried until we’re buried And there’s no curtain call, Life’s a funny proposition, after all. When all things are coming easy and when luck is with a man, Why, then life to him is sunshine everywhere; Then the Fates blow rather breezy and they quite upset a plan, Then he’ll cry that life’s a burden hard to bear. Though today may be a day of smiles, Tomorrow’s still in doubt And what brings me joy may bring you care and woe. We’re born to die But we don’t know why Or what it’s all about, And the more we try to learn the less we know And no one’s ever solved the problem properly as yet. Young for a day, then old and gray, Like the rose that buds and blooms And fades—and falls away. Losing health to gain our wealth As through this dream we tour, Everything’s a guess and nothing’s absolutely sure. Battles exciting and fates we’re fighting Until the curtains fall, Life’s a funny proposition, after all.
Tom drank until he could drink no more, Then went to sleep on the barroom floor; Where he slumbered with a troubled brain, To dream that he rode on a hell-bound train.
Wilder and wilder the country grew, Faster and faster the engine flew, Louder and louder the thunder crashed, Brighter and brighter the lightning flashed.
And out in the distance there rose a yell, “Ah, ha,” said the devil, “we’re nearing hell.” Then, oh how the passengers shrieked in pain And begged of the devil to stop the train.
“You have bullied the weak, you have robbed the poor, The starving brother you turned from your door, You have laid up gold where canker rusts, And given free use of your fleshly lusts.