How I could be such a duffer So to suffer, I can't tell.
Then you came, played tennis finely, Danced divinely, Sang as well;
Half Adonis, half Apollo, Beat me hollow. Such a swell!
How I hated you, so clever! _You_ were never Thought a bore!
When I saw you so romantic I was frantic; How I swore!
I've recovered. Is she not a Child that's got a Newer toy? From the first she thought she'd booked you; Now she's hooked you. Wish you joy!
I'll forgive you altogether,-- She'll see whether I shall care,-- Shake your hand and gaily greet you, When I meet you Anywhere.
_January._--As I am in Biarritz, may just as well see how they manage things in Spain. Looked up the Ministry at Madrid, and drafted them a treaty with Portugal. They thanked me with the courtesy of hidaljos, but refused with the paltry jealousy of a petty-fogging second-rate Power! What nasty pride! Sent home to one of my Magazines, "How I took part in a Bull-fight."
_February._--Opened Parliament and set things going, and then thought I might take a trip to Russia to fill up the odd time. Had a chat with the CZAR, and knocked off a plan for the introduction of "Home Rule." CZAR polite, but didn't see it. Well of course every one has a right to his own opinions, still I think it would do. CZAR didn't. Sent home to one of my Magazines, "How I lived for three days in the Mines of Siberia."
_March._--Back to town for a few days, and then off again. CLARK says travelling the best thing in the world for superfluous energy. Did China thoroughly. Drew up a plan for altering the language, manners, religions, politics, and customs of the Chinese. Brought it before a Special Committee of Mandarins; but they prevaricated, and practically shelved it. Sent home to one of my Magazines an article, "How I had a Boxing-match with the Emperor of CHINA, and knocked his Majesty out of time."
_April._--Things going on decently well at Westminster, so started for Turkey. Arranged Turkish Finance for the Grand Vizier. But that official distinctly an--well, not a wise man--said he would knock out a better budget himself. Sent home to one of my Magazines, "My Fortnight's Manoeuvres with the Bashi Bazouks."
_May._--Dropped in at St. Stephen's, and put a few finishing touches to one or two measures, then away to Egypt. Sketched out a Republican form of Government for the Khedive. However, his Highness did not seem to see it. The Egyptians are very Conservative in their notions. Sent home to one of my Magazines, "A Fortnight in the MAHDI'S Camp, by an Acquaintance of OSMAN DIGNA."