Parentification or parent–child role reversal is the process of role reversal whereby a child or adolescent is obliged to act as a parent to their own parent or sibling.
Two distinct types of parentification have been identified technically: instrumental parentification and emotional parentification. For instance, instrumental parentification involves the child completing physical tasks for the family, such as looking after a sick relative, paying bills, or providing assistance to younger siblings that would normally be provided by a parent. On the other hand, emotional parentification occurs when a child or adolescent must take on the role of a confidante or mediator for (or between) parents or family members.
Background
Melitta Schmideberg noted in 1948 how emotional deprivation could lead parents to treat their children (unconsciously) as substitute parent figures. Later on, Minuchin et al. introduced the term parentification in 1967. Boszormenyi-Nagy et al. defined it in 1973 as "a parental figure's expectation that a child fulfill the role of a parent within the family subsystem."
"Spousification" and "parental child" (Minuchin) offered alternative concepts exploring the same phenomenon, while the theme of intergenerational continuity in such violations of personal boundaries was further examined. Furthermore, Eric Berne highlighted the dangers of parents and children having a symmetrical, rather than asymmetrical relationship, as when an absent spouse is replaced by the eldest child; and Virginia Satir wrote of "the role-function discrepancy...where the son gets into a head-of-the-family role, commonly that of the father".
Object relations theory highlighted how the child's false self is called into being when it is forced prematurely to take excessive care of the parental object; and John Bowlby looked at what he called "compulsive caregiving" among the anxiously attached, as a result of a parent inverting the normal relationship and pressuring the child to be an attachment figure for them.
All such aspects of disturbed and inverted parenting patterns have been drawn under the umbrella of the wider phenomenon of parentification – with the result (critics suggest) that on occasion "ironically the concept of parentification has...been as over-burdened as the child it often describes".
Choice of child
Elder children, often firstborns, are chosen for the familial parental role. Often, a younger sibling then takes on the firstborn role.
Gender considerations mean that sometimes the eldest boy or eldest girl is selected, even if they are not the oldest child overall, for such reasons as the preference to match the sex of the missing parent. Girls, especially those who have a large family, are likelier than boys to be parentified. Where there is a disabled child in the family to be cared for, "older siblings, especially girls, are at the greatest risk of parentification".
A married, widowed, or single parent may treat their child as their spouse; this is known as spousification, and it occurs more often among single than married parents. Mother-son spousification is more common than father-daughter spousification. Mothers may put their sons in this role due to a desire for protection but fear of men. Their sons are a less threatening option.
Mother-daughter parentification is also more common than father-daughter parentification. Daughters are likelier than sons to be an emotional anchor. In a mother-daughter relationship, the mother might oblige her daughter to play the caregiving role, in a betrayal of the child's normal expectation of love and care.
Narcissistic
Narcissistic parentification occurs when a child is forced to take on the parent's idealised projection, something which encourages a compulsive perfectionism in the child at the expense of their natural development. In a type of pseudo-identification, the child is induced by any and all means to take on the characteristics of the parental ego ideal – a pattern that has been detected in western culture since Homer's description of the character of Achilles.
Effects
Parentification is harmful when it is unfair and significantly burdens the child. As it may be adaptive or maladaptive, it is not always pathological, but its destructive form (termed destructive parentification) is linked to maladaptive parenting, child maladaptation, physical abuse, sexual abuse, behavioral problems, decreased emotionality, and poor social competence. Parentified children also have a higher risk of depression, suicidal ideation, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
