ANIMALS, BIRDS, AND OTHER PETS will not be allowed on the main wagon, nor allowed to run alongside. All such must be put in charge of the steward, who will tag them and place them in a trailer, where they will be fed and cared for, and permitted to drink out of the trough of the sea.
All animals will be returned to owners at end of voyage; or, if desired, the steward will send them to any designated circus or menagerie.
No passenger will be allowed more than three purple monkeys or two dozen red, white, and blue snakes. No magenta elephant weighing more than twenty tons will be received in the trailer, as the accommodations are limited. No mastodons of any colour will be accepted.
The management will not be responsible for any accident or change of colour these pets may undergo. We cannot guarantee fast colours.
Striped mice, polka-dot lizards, Scotch-plaid guinea-pigs, and other small animals, and all perishable buggage, will be carried at owner’s risk.
Every evening in the main saloon, from 8 to 10, our own Band of Hope will discourse the following musical favourites:
“Drink to Me Only with Thine Eyes.” “Wait for the Wagon.” “The Old Oaken Bucket.” “Father, Dear Father.” “Down by the River.” “When the Swallows Homeward Fly.”
_NOTE.—Any attention on the part of the audience will be appreciated by the Bandmaster._
Leave the Bar 8 bells Pass Rye Beach 6 bells Off the Faro Banks 3 bells Near High Ballston Spa 4 bells Arrive Vichy Springs 7 bells Weather Cape Casegoods 2 bells Nearing Prohibition Park 8 bells Arrive Delaware Water Gap 1 bell Pass Croton Reservoir 5 bells Round Apollinaris Bottling Works 6 bells Weather White Rock Point 4 bells Arrive at Waterbury 8 bells
_The management reserves the right to change the itinerary at any old bell time._
Ask to see my =Adjustable, Telescopic Noiseless Hats=. (_Patent Pending._) Just the thing for the Water Wagon. No springs or metal used. Will expand or contract as conditions require. Space in sweat-band for cracked ice. Money refunded if we don’t make good.
Stretching done at your own home the morning after.
=“You get the Head, and we’ll put a Lid on it”=
Most of the gold-cures are only plated, and it soon wears off.—Keeley.
Men’s evil manners live in rum. Their virtues we write in water.—Shakespeare.