Never pick it up at all, if she drops it purposely. You needn’t set your foot on it, or scowl at her; but coquetry is one of the vices deserving of silent reproof.
Never pick up anything that even your companion may drop, unless he should be very drunk. You may pick him up also, if he should drop.
Never, even if in haste, rush through a crowded thoroughfare at a breakneck gait, with your hair flying, your necktie over your ears, and shouting “Clear the track!” at every jump. Hire a cab, or obtain roller-skates. Repose of manner should never be sacrificed to emotional insanity.
Never pose on street corners, attitudinize before show-case mirrors, or whistle an opera bouffe air while watching a funeral cortege.
Never, if with a lady, ask her to wait for you on the curb while you step into an adjacent bar-room to see a man. The ruse is a transparent one, and, moreover, she may be thirsty herself.
Never hilariously address a stranger with an obvious defect of vision as “Squinty,” nor ask another how many barrels of whisky it has taken to paint his nose. Such familiarities may possibly be resented.
Never, on the other hand, be so over-civil as to be mistaken for a dancing master or a bunco-steerer.
Never forget that a gentleman is a gentleman everywhere. Even McGilder was occasionally taken for one.
Never have your shoes polished in the middle of the sidewalk while hanging on to an awning-beam for support. It may create the impression that all the polish you have is upon your shoes.
Never cease trying to make yourself understood. Learn to read and write before you are of age.
Never pronounce with your teeth clenched, through the nose, or by ripping up the sounds laboriously from the pit of the stomach. Speak gently, but with clarion-like distinctness.
Never squeal like a rat, grunt like a pig, or roar like a bull. Cultivate a pleasing voice.
Never smother your meaning out of sight with slang. “Soup should be seasoned, not red-hot,” says an old writer.
Never swear, anathematize, or fairly drip with profanity, especially in the presence of delicate ladies and small children. Undue emphasis often defeats itself.
Never indicate a mere passing surprise by such expressions as “Holy smoke!” “Gosh almighty!” “I’m teetotally dashed!” and the like. A mere lifting of the eyebrows, a convulsive gasp, or a wild, staggered look, while smiting the forehead with the fist, will be demonstrative enough.