When my father died in 2021, one of the most overwhelming things I felt was the loss of a spiritual anchor. My father remains one of my guides into Yoruba spirituality because with him, I could talk about spirituality and faith while decentering the colonial gaze. Growing up in a Christian household, I assimilated into the Christian culture. I absorbed every doctrine and held on desperately to the hope of heaven and the fear of hell. However, nothing seemed right. Not the way women were constantly dismissed in the church I attended, nor the way I feared to even look powerful or beautiful for fear of ending up in the fiercest part of hell. Even before I knew I was queer, I had been spoon-fed the ills of “lesbianism” since I was a toddler and that meant that I suppressed a lot of my feelings till I was 17 when I finally rejected the church of my birth and embraced pantheism. Many Africans have similar experiences. Ayodele Olofintuade, a non-binary Nigerian writer and traditionalist, was born and raised in a typical Chrisitan Yoruba home. As a result, many people told them to stay away from Isese spaces – the traditional spiritual practice of the Yoruba people in Nigeria. However, with the slow resurgence of traditional practices, Olofintuade has started to find community and joy within Isese spaces. Colonialism demonised Isese practices, forcing people to turn to Abrahamic religions. These religions, in turn, ostracised queer people and denied them access to spiritual spaces due to their queerness. Their queerness, they were told, made them unholy and deserving of cruelty. Pre-colonial Nigeria was rooted in traditional spirituality and traditional spirituality differs from region to region, yet it is so easily rooted in similar practices and ways of living. Olofintuade views Yoruba spirituality as an innate component of identity. They view it as a way of life rather than a religion or spirituality. “It is not some religion that you have to go and find – it is always there in you as a Yoruba person,” says Olofintuade, “it is part of your birth.” For most traditionalists, Isese is a mode of living. You ground yourself every day in the infiniteness of the universe and the assurance of your place in it as a human being. A critical component of the practice is being initiated into the worship of an Orisha. The Orishas are portrayed as transcending the gender binary as they embody both the feminine and the masculine. The Orisas are not gendered as they are portrayed in artwork. Osun, even though quite feminine, also possesses very masculine energy. Orisha Oya is famously known to be a woman and a wife of Sango but is also quite masculine in the way they act. Isese practitioners believe Oya wields Sango as an instrument of destruction to balance Oya’s powers for rebirth, as they are the guardian of the portal of death. Orisha Ogun dresses in a stereotypically feminine way by wearing skirts made of palm fronds, and Esu is considered to be an ungendered Orisha. The subversion of the gender binary is why many queer traditionalists find the Isese practice incredibly empowering and validating. “When I am in Isese spaces, I see how bodies are non-gendered, and our bodies are capable of wielding the power bestowed to us by the Orishas,” says Olofintuade. Contrary to post-colonial ideations of traditional spirituality, nothing prevents queer people from finding spirituality in traditional spaces. Isese doesn’t have a handbook on practising spirituality or engaging in worship. Instead, the practice focuses on your journey within the context of a close-knit community that supports your journey. Due to the pervasive nature of queerphobia, you are likely to encounter discrimination in traditional spaces, but queerphobia is not the result of the tenets of the Isese practice. Isese is a freeing experience as it acknowledges the diversity of human identity and affords people respect based on their existence alone. Queer people have often spoken about the reconciliation with their past selves through their spirit selves upon finding their way back to their spirituality. Furthermore, Isese allows queer people to escape the rigid boxes created by capitalist and patriarchal structures. Olofintuade explains that Isese will enable you to rediscover yourself outside of the criticisms of self-hatred made by anti-queer education. “It helps you reconcile with yourselves that have been buried under layers of miseducation and lies,” they say. Being a pantheist led me to understand and embrace the universe in different cultures and settings outside the one I was brought up in. In my journey, I have the opportunity to see and accept myself in Yoruba traditional spirituality through Isese.