MRS. BROWN. What now--the youthful Fastman?
AUGUS. Fastman--who I only just this minute discovered on his knees before my wife!
VAN. (_rushing across to BOBBINS, who runs behind table, R._) Ah, you dare to call her so to my face! (_MRS. BROWN runs after VANDYKE, and holds him_)
MRS. BROWN. Now, my dear Van--how can you imagine that your own little Emily--
VAN. (_throwing her off, L._) Imagine--false woman--imagine! Ha, ha, ha! but don't suppose that I mind it. (_throwing BOBBINS round to L._) Take your vile cabinet maker--don't think I'm going to commit suicide. No, no--_I've_ a friend in a corner that will console me. She loves me to distraction. She followed me all the way from the Waterloo Station. I'll run off with her before your eyes. Come in, madam, come in--there's no occasion to hide yourself any longer.
_Goes to R. D., and brings out MRS. BOBBINS, who opposes him in confusion._
VAN. Mrs. Bobbins! is he (_pointing to BOBBINS_) your husband?
MRS. BOBBINS. (_aside to VANDYKE._) Hush! hush! don't say a word about having met me on the railway before my husband.
VAN. (_to MRS. BOBBINS_) So you're his wife! So much the better! It's poetical justice! You have overheard all, I suppose? (_pointing to MRS. BROWN_) You see who he has given you up for--my wife!
MRS. BOBBINS. Your wife? (_aside_) This can't be true!
VAN. My wife--my infamous wife, who I resign in your favour.
MRS. BROWN. (_L. crying_) Oh! Vandyke, Vandyke! after all my tried affection for you!
VAN. (_to MRS. BOBBINS_) Come, madam! come with me! (_drawing her towards him_) Let us be revenged upon them both.
MRS. BOBBINS. (_to VANDYKE_) Let me alone, sir! let me alone! Augustus, come to my assistance! Why do you suffer him to treat me like this?
(_BOBBINS turns his back to her indignantly._)
VAN. It's all fair! Exchange is no robbery! He takes my wife--I take his. You see your husband does not object.
AUGUS. Not I! As she has two husbands already, she may as well take a third. Clap hands and a bargain--I agree to the chop. (_meets in centre and shake hands_)
MRS. BROWN. BOBBINS. BROWN. MRS. BOBBINS. R. C.
MRS. BOBBINS. (_crying and crossing to L. C._) Oh, oh, Augustus! what, desert me after all my forbearance and exemplary conduct? Oh, oh, you cruel man!