_Hosea._ Ha, ha, ha! very good; it's catching. Strike in: that's (_looks grave_) rather good.
_Rowell._ There's a son at the head of this Trueworth family, I believe?
_Hosea._ Yes; a splendid fellow, who enlisted a week before his father died. Poor chap! he's awfully cut up. Thought the old folks nicely settled, and was chock full of patriotism. Was disappointed in that, but could not get out of Uncle Sam's clutches. I couldn't afford to lose my money, so foreclosed and sold out. (_Enter door in flat_ HIRAM JENKS _with a long pole, on which a red auction-flag is rolled, on his shoulder_.)
_Rowell._ 'Twas a hard blow for the family. (HIRAM _turns to shut the door: pole swings round, and hits_ HOSEA _in the head_.)
_Hosea._ Oh, murder! you clumsy chap, you've broke my head.
_Hiram._ 'Twas a hard blow for you, dad,—an auctioneer knocked down under his own flag.
"When pole meets poll, then comes the crack of skull."
_Hosea._ Shut up, sonny! Where's your manners? Hold up your head. (HIRAM _obeys the directions as spoken_.) Boys should be seen, not heard. Turn out your toes. That was good, though, "when pole meets poll:" ha, ha, ha! He can't help it: takes it from me. I can't help it; in my office, at the table—
_Rowell._ I'm anxious to settle this business at once, and get possession of the farm. If you will arrange the papers, my check is ready to-day for the whole amount of purchase.
_Hosea._ I like that. My son, hold up your head: here's an example for you; a man who's anxious to pay,—turn out your toes,—who never puts off until to-morrow what can be done to-day. When you grow up, sonny, remember ready is the color of the winning horse on the racecourse of life,—Ready-cash; by whom that _dun_-colored nag Promise-to-pay is always distanced. Ha, ha, ha! There's a pair of 'em. I can't help it; it will pop out; in my office, at my table—
_Hosea._ All right: step over to my office, and we'll settle up at once. Sonny, straighten up! You are released from official business, and may go off fishing. (_Pats him on the head._) That's good, Ha, ha, ha! I can't help it; 'twill pop out regardless of time and place. We wits know no pent-up Ut_aca_. You take, hey, Rowell? Ha, ha, ha! I really can't help it; in my office, at my table—