1276. A Welchman coming to London to pursue a suit at law, chanced to steal a sow, for which he was taken and burnt in the hand. His friends asked him, when he arrived home, How the law went with him? Priddie well, said he, for hur has got hur in hur hand.
1277. What did Mr. King die of? asked a simple neighbour. Of a complication of disorders, replied his friend. How do you describe a complication, my good sir? He died, rejoined the other, of two physicians, an apothecary, and a surgeon.
1278. Parson Hawkins passing the River Wye, to Biford, where he lived, had with him one Bartholomew Herring, who, being heavy laden, fell over the side of the boat into the river; Hawkins cried out, Save the man, save the man. Herring answered, Hold your tongue, am I not in my element!
1279. Serjeant Hoskins having married an old widow, and being asked by a companion of his, Why he did not marry a young woman? answered, He had a maxim for it in his accidence, In _legendis veteribus proficiscis_, [In reading old authors thou dost profit.]
1280. A young man walking along Cheapside, espied a house shut up, with a bill over the door, showing that the house and shop were to be let. He asked a person at the next door, If the shop might be let alone? Yes, replied the other, you may let it alone, for anything I know.
1281. A gownsman at Cambridge was once bargaining with Fordham for a horse; the latter was taken suddenly very ill and died; there were very few pounds between them in respect to the price. The gownsman, not knowing what had occurred, called next morning at the yard, and asked to see Mr. Fordham. Master, sir, said the ostler, is dead, but he left word you should have the horse.
1282. A caravan of wild beasts arriving lately in an American village, the elephant was accommodated in a large carriage-house―where, it appeared, a tall two-fisted negro from the country, who had never seen or heard of an elephant, had lain down to sleep. On waking, blacky was not a little astonished at his strange bed-fellow. What could it be? The devil! The huge mass moved, when lo, a tail at both ends put an end to all doubt, and, with one despairing leap, he was out of the loft window, without once calculating upon the chance of breaking his neck. In the fulness of his astonishment and joy at his escape, he could tell no more of the occasion of his alarm, than of a devil with two tails, and describe in his best way, an extending, contracting, flexible tail, that no distance could secure you from.