The writer has been in some families, where the most efficient and steady government has been sustained, without the use of a cross or angry tone; and in others, where a far less efficient discipline was kept up, by frequent severe rebukes and angry remonstrances. In the first case, the children followed the example set them, and seldom used severe tones to each other; in the latter, the method employed by the parents, was imitated by the children; and cross words and angry tones resounded from morning till night, in every portion of the household.
Another important maxim, is, Try to keep children in a happy state of mind. Every one knows, by experience, that it is easier to do right, and submit to rule, when cheerful and happy, than when irritated. This is peculiarly true of children; and a wise mother, when she finds her child fretful and impatient, and thus constantly doing wrong, will often remedy the whole difficulty, by telling some amusing story, or by getting the child engaged in some amusing sport. This strongly shows the importance of learning to govern children without the employment of angry tones, which always produce irritation.
Children of active, heedless temperament, or those who are odd, awkward, or unsuitable, in their remarks and deportment, are often essentially injured, by a want of patience and self-control in those who govern them. Such children, often possess a morbid sensibility, which they strive to conceal, or a desire of love and approbation, which preys like a famine on the soul. And yet, they become objects of ridicule and rebuke, to almost every member of the family, until their sensibilities are tortured into obtuseness or misanthropy. Such children, above all others, need tenderness and sympathy. A thousand instances of mistake or forgetfulness should be passed over, in silence, while opportunities for commendation and encouragement should be diligently sought.
In regard to the formation of habits of self-denial, in childhood, it is astonishing to see how parents, who are very sensible, often seem to regard this matter. Instead of inuring their children to this duty, in early life, so that by habit it may be made easy in after-days, they seem to be studiously seeking to cut them off, from every chance to secure such a preparation. Every wish of the child is studiously gratified; and, where a necessity exists, of crossing its wishes, some compensating pleasure is offered, in return. Such parents, often maintain that nothing shall be put on their table, which their children may not join them in eating. But where, so easily and surely as at the daily meal, can that habit of self-denial be formed, which is so needful in governing the appetites, and which children must acquire, or be ruined? The food which is proper for grown persons, is often unsuitable for children; and this is a sufficient reason for accustoming them to see others partake of delicacies, which they must not share. Requiring children to wait till others are helped, and to refrain from conversation at table, except when addressed by their elders, is another mode of forming habits of self-denial and self-control. Requiring them to help others, first, and to offer the best to others, has a similar influence.