'I would knock at death's doors again, and pass them, to be sure of that.'
'Kiss me; you may be sure. I would not put my lips to your cheek if there were danger of my faltering.'
'I do: and because I love him I will not let him be fettered to me.'
'Do not imagine that his persuasions undermined your Tony. I am subject to panics.'
'I had a visit from Lady Wathin. She knows him. She came as peacemaker. She managed to hint at his authority. Then came a letter from him--of supplication, interpenetrated with the hint: a suffused atmosphere. Upon that; unexpected by me, my--let me call him so once, forgive me!--lover came. Oh! he loves me, or did then. Percy! He had been told that I should be claimed. I felt myself the creature I am--a wreck of marriage. But I fancied I could serve him:--I saw golden. My vanity was the chief traitor. Cowardice of course played a part. In few things that we do, where self is concerned, will cowardice not be found. And the hallucination colours it to seem a lovely heroism. That was the second time Mr. Redworth arrived. I am always at crossways, and he rescues me; on this occasion unknowingly.'
'There's a divinity...' said Emma. 'When I think of it I perceive that Patience is our beneficent fairy godmother, who brings us our harvest in the long result.'
'My dear, does she bring us our labourers' rations, to sustain us for the day?' said Diana.'
'You have stores of patience, Tony; only now and then fits of desperation.'
'My nature's frailty, the gap in it: we will give it no fine names--they cover our pitfalls. I am open to be carried on a tide of unreasonableness when the coward cries out. But I can say, dear, that after one rescue, a similar temptation is unlikely to master me. I do not subscribe to the world's decrees for love of the monster, though I am beginning to understand the dues of allegiance. We have ceased to write letters. You may have faith in me.'
So the confession closed; and in the present instance there were not any forgotten chambers to be unlocked and ransacked for addenda confessions.
The subjects discoursed of by the two endeared the hours to them. They were aware that the English of the period would have laughed a couple of women to scorn for venturing on them, and they were not a little hostile in consequence, and shot their epigrams profusely, applauding the keener that appeared to score the giant bulk of their intolerant enemy, who holds the day, but not the morrow. Us too he holds for the day, to punish us if we have temporal cravings. He scatters his gifts to the abject; tossing to us rebels bare dog-biscuit. But the life of the spirit is beyond his region; we have our morrow in his day when we crave nought of him. Diana and Emma delighted to discover that they were each the rebel of their earlier and less experienced years; each a member of the malcontent minor faction, the salt of earth, to whom their salt must serve for nourishment, as they admitted, relishing it determinedly, not without gratification.