After we had thus subdued the great, the populous, and the celebrated city of Mexico, a solemn service was performed, to offer up our thanks to the Almighty. After this Cortes ordered a banquet to be prepared in Cojohuacan, to celebrate the conquest with a joyous feast, at which the wine which had come with a vessel recently run into Vera Cruz, and the hog's meat from Cuba, were not spared.
To this banquet all the officers and soldiers were invited; but when the guests arrived there was scarcely sufficient room at the table for one third of them, which occasioned a good deal of ill-will, and it would have been better if Cortes had never given the banquet at all; for many curious things happened on this occasion, and Noah's tree gave rise to many foolish pranks. There were some folks who, when they had eaten and drank too much, instead of leaving the table, sicked all over it; others declared that they possessed gold enough to buy themselves horses with saddles of gold; and the crossbow-men swore they would for the future not shoot another arrow unless its point was made of pure gold; some kept stumbling about, and many rolled headlong down the steps.
After the banquet we had a ball, in which the ladies joined who had accompanied our army; and nothing could be more ridiculous than to see the leaps which their gallants took who were accoutred in full armour. The ladies who danced were only few in number, and I will not mention their names, nor should I like to repeat the satires which appeared at their expense on the following day; but I must not forget to mention that father Olmedo expressed his disapprobation aloud at the scandalous conduct of the men during this banquet and dance, and observed to Sandoval, that this was not the way to return thanks to God, or to obtain his assistance for the future!
Sandoval mentioned this to Cortes, who, as he was always discreet in what he did, instantly sent for this pious man, and said to him: "Excellent father! it is impossible to restrain the soldiers when they are enjoying themselves after their manner. I certainly should have done better if I had withheld this inducement from them. It is, however, in the power of your reverence to put a stop to all this, by ordering a solemn procession to the church, where, in a sermon, you can give us a severe reprimand from the pulpit. Then you will also have a good opportunity of commanding the men not to rob the Indians of their daughters, or of anything else, and in future to discontinue their frequent disputes among each other, and to comport themselves as good Catholic Christians, that the Lord may prosper their lives."