The statement of Barrington, who says that among the Port Jackson natives blows are the usual mode of courtship and that they are well accepted as a token of tenderness,[73] can only be understood if we accept these facts as a kind of pretended marriage by capture. But much importance cannot be attached to it.
Amongst some tribes in the neighbourhood of Sydney[74] small children are betrothed, and as a sign of that the girl wears a necklace. In another place[75] the same author says that marriage by capture occurs.
Among the tribes of the South-east coast of New South Wales (Hawkesbury River to Cape Howe) the "marriages are regulated by a system of betrothal." "The old men assemble in council," and establish the relation of _Nanarree_ between a boy and a girl or woman. The boy then marries eventually the woman's daughter. The _Nanarree_ couple "theoretically occupy the position of son-in-law and mother-in-law." They are tabooed to each other. A man and woman may be _Nanarree_ to several individuals.[76]
[76] R. H. Mathews in _J.R.S.N.S.W._, xxxiv. pp. 263, 264.
We read of an instance of a formal betrothal (called _Bahumul_), although meagre in its ceremonial, among the Euahlayi tribe. A baby girl is destined by her parents to be "given to a man." She is brought to him, some feathers are taken off the baby's head and put on the man's. Her grandmother says, "Look at him and remember him, because you are promised to him." "That makes it a formal betrothal, binding to both sides." "I have heard great camp rows, because girls made a struggle for independence, having found out they had only been promised, not formally betrothed, to some old chap whom they did not wish to marry." Here we meet with an instance of a formality, which has in itself much more than a simple promise, that is "binding for both sides."[77]
Amongst the Wiradjuri the girl was promised in infancy and sisters were exchanged.[78]
Amongst the Dieri the individual or _Tippa Malku_ marriage was established when girls were quite young, and upon the basis of exchange, the decision lying in the hands of the mother's brother. In another place we read that the _Tippa Malku_ marriage was brought about sometimes also by the council of old men.[79] _Pirrauru_ "wives" were allotted by the council of old men.[80] In cases of elopement the offender was pursued by the kindred.[81]