"I arrived at home last Saturday night, at eleven o'clock, after rather an uncomfortable ride. However, I had the satisfaction on Monday of exercising my right of suffrage, which, had I not done, I should have felt unpleasantly. I wrote to M., on Tuesday, under a depression of spirits altogether greater than I have before felt. The effect of hope upon my feelings, before I saw the little ones, was very animating; since that time (although I found them all I could desire), the stimulus is gone, and I have been very wretched. The principles I cherish will now have their proper effect, although nature must first find its level. Do not imagine I feel severely depressed all the time; although I certainly have much less of animal spirits than I had before my return, I do not feel positively unhappy. Under all the circumstances it is thought best for me to journey. Hitherto, I have experienced the kind protection of an almighty Friend; it will not hereafter be withheld. Commending all dear friends and myself to Him, I remain your truly affectionate brother,
To another sister he writes five days afterwards, before commencing a second journey:
"In a few moments I am off. I gladly seize the leisure they furnish me, to tell you I feel well, and have no doubt of having such a flow of spirits as will make my journey pleasant. At any rate, I start with this determination. You know not, dear E., the delight I feel in contemplating the situation of my little ones; this (if no higher principle) should be sufficient to do away all repining and vain regrets for the loss of an object so dear as was their mother. In short, her own wishes should operate very strongly against these regrets. I hope to be forgiven the offence, if such it be; and to make such improvement of it as will subserve the purposes of my heavenly Father, who doth not willingly afflict the children of men, but for their improvement. My prayer to God is, that the affliction may not be lost upon me; but that it may have the effect of making me estimate more justly the value of all temporal objects, and, by thus softening the heart, open it to the kind influences of our holy religion, and produce that love and charity well pleasing to our Father. I have no object in view further south than Baltimore; from thence I shall go across the Alleghanies, or journey through the interior to the northern border of this country. At Baltimore I remain a few days; my business there is as delegate from Brattle-street Church, in the settlement of a minister, a young gentleman named Sparks, from Connecticut."