Here the devil stopped, and in the same instant, there happening a slight scuffle, betwixt a couple of conceited coxcombs, which should go foremost: I turned to see the matter, and cast my eye upon a certain tax-gatherer, that had undone a friend of mine: and in some sort to revenge myself of this ass in a lion’s skin, I asked the devil, whether they had not of that sort of blood-suckers among the rest, in their dominions (an informing, projecting generation of men, and the very bane of a kingdom). “You know little,” says he, “if you do not know these vermin to be the right heirs of perdition, and that they claim hell for their inheritance: and yet we are now e’en upon the point of discarding them, for they are so pragmatical, and ungrateful, there’s no enduring of them. They are at this present in consultation about an impost upon the highway to hell; and indeed payments run so high already, and are so likely to increase too, that ’tis much feared in the end, we shall quite lose our trading and commerce. But if ever they come to put this in execution, we shall be so bold, as to treat them next bout, to the tune of ‘Fortune my foe,’ etc. and make them cool their heels on the wrong side of the door, which will be worse than hell to them, for it leaves them no retreat, being expelled paradise, and purgatory already.” “This race of vipers,” said I, “will never be quiet, till they tax the way to heaven itself.” “Oh,” quoth the devil, “that had been done long since, if they had found the play worth the candles: but they have had a factor abroad now these half-score years, that’s glad to wipe his nose on his sleeve still, for want of a handkerchief.” “But these new impositions, upon what I pray ye do they intend to levy them?” “For that,” quoth the devil, “there’s a gentleman of the trade at your elbow can tell you all;” pointing to my old friend the publican. This drew the eyes of the whole company upon him, and put him so damnedly out of countenance, that he plucked down his hat over his face, clapped his tail between his legs, and went his way; with which we were all of us well enough pleased, and then the devil went on. “Well,” said the devil, and laughed, “my voucher is departed ye see; but I think I can say as much to this point as himself; the impositions now to be set on foot, are upon bare-necked ladies, patches, mole-skins, Spanish-paper, and all the _mundus muliebris_ more than what is necessary and decent; upon your _tour à la mode_, and spring garden coaches; excess in apparel, collations, rich furniture, your cheating, and blaspheming gaming ordinaries, and, in general, upon whatsoever serves to advance our empire; so that without a friend at court, or some good magistrate to help us out at a dead lift, and stick to us, we may e’en put up our pipes, and you’ll find hell a very desert.” “Well,” said I, “and methinks I see nothing in all this, but what is very reasonable; for to what end serves it but to corrupt good manners, stir up ill appetites, provoke and encourage all sorts of debauchery, destroy all that is good and honourable in humane society, and chalk out in effect the ready way to the devil.