She said not a word, but got a book and showed me a picture of a bulb--a tulip bulb.
"That," she said, "is a bulb. These are sprouts."
If there's anything that makes home unhappy, it's that atmosphere of superiority in a woman. I tried to point out to her that she couldn't believe everything she saw in a book.
"History," I said, "is continually changing. That may have been a bulb at the time of publication, but----"
It was no use. I had to give in. She had the dots on Uncle Henry for sure, but you've got to give it to me--you've just got to. How was this one? Listen:
"Of course they're sprouts. I knew they were sprouts all the time. I was just trying to catch you."
There are four little disconnected adventures in my notes that must find a place somewhere, and so I have decided to bunch them all in this chapter. If you'll draw your chair up closer, I'll give them to you in order:
First--The Adventure of the Prospective Tenant.
Second--The Adventure of the Mysterious Push Button.
Third--The Adventure of the Reluctant Cow.
Fourth--The Adventure of the Nasty Little Fat Robin.
Now for the Adventure of the Prospective Tenant.
The fact has been mentioned that we yearned to let our second floor of four beautiful rooms, private bath and shower, closet in every room, large plumbing, polished floors and heaven knows what. As a condition precedent to becoming a flatlord, I appealed to the populace through the want ad. My first copy ran like this:
3313 BATEMAN AVENUE, MONT ALTO--30 minutes from City Hall; four rooms and private hallway; bath with shower and spray, private; fine southern exposure two rooms; airy, ample windows; use of parlor, porch, piano and laundry; water-heated; Garrison avenue cars; beautiful neighborhood; splendid view of city and bay; no children; will give breakfast if desired; church within a block; nearest saloon three miles away, but very fast street cars to that point. Burglars shun neighborhood and nobody ever gets drunk.
There were other things I overlooked, but we decided to let it go at that. Certainly virtues had been mentioned which should overcome any prejudice against suburban life and the crickets. Blithely I passed the copy over the counter and inquired the cost. The man smiled.