At lenkt der meat-chopping masheen vas in need: Der putcher goed to it, un dere he seed A pundle of pones; un der shoes vas dere Vot der long-lost shoemaker's poy did vear. His jaws were still vagging, un seemed to say, "Ven no one vas here, I got in to blay: It closed mit a shpring, un der poy so green Vas made sausage-meat by der chopping masheen." O! der shoemaker's poy, Der _last_ of der shoemaker's poy!
Who puts oup at der pest hotel, Und dakes his oysters on der schell, Und mit der frauleins cuts a schwell? Der drummer.
Who vas it gomes indo mine schtore, Drows down his pundles on der vloor, Und nefer schtops to shut der door? Der drummer.
Who dakes me by der handt, unt say, "Hans Pfeiffer, how you vas to-day?" Und goes for peesnis righd avay? Der drummer.
Who sphreads his zamples in a trice, Und dells me, "Look, und see how nice!" Und says I gets "der bottom price"? Der drummer.
Who says der tings vas eggstra vine,-- "Vrom Sharmany, ubon der Rhine,"-- Und sheats me den dimes oudt of nine? Der drummer.
Who dells how sheap der goots vas bought, Mooch less as vat I gould imbort, But lets dem go as he vas "short"? Der drummer.
Who varrants all der goots to suit Der gustomers ubon his route?-- Und ven dey gomes dey vas no goot,-- Der drummer.
Who gomes aroundt ven I been oudt, Drinks oup my bier, and eates mine _kraut_, Und kiss Katrina in der mout? Der drummer.
Who, ven he gomes again dis vay, Vill hear vot Pfeiffer has to say, Und mit a plack eye goes avay? Dot drummer.
Hiram was a quiet, peaceable sort of a Yankee, who lived on the same farm on which his fathers had lived before him, and was generally considered a pretty cute sort of a fellow,--always ready with a trick, whenever it was of the least utility; yet, when he did play any of his tricks, 'twas done in such an innocent manner, that his victim could do no better than take it all in good part.
Now, it happened that one of Hiram's neighbors sold a farm to a tolerably green specimen of a Dutchman,--one of the real unintelligent, stupid sort.
Von Vlom Schlopsch had a dog, as Dutchmen often have, who was less unintelligent than his master, and who had, since leaving his "faderland," become sufficiently civilized not only to appropriate the soil as common stock, but had progressed so far in the good work as to obtain his dinners from the neighbors' sheepfold on the same principle.