Asa Wal, I ain't seen it. [Aside.] If my lord sets a valley on it, guess it must be worth something.
Bud My lord's hair dye, the last bottle, and he turns red tomorrow. [Exit in haste.]
Bin Orrable, what an hawful situation, to be sure.
Asa [Aside.] So I've got my ring on that lord's nose, and if I don't make him dance to my tune it's a pity.
Bin Miss Florence begged me to say she had borrowed a costume for you, for the harchery meeting, sir.
Asa What do you mean by the harchery meeting?
Bin Where they shoot with bows and harrows.
Asa There goes another of them, oh! you need'nt look for them, you can't find 'em when you want 'em. Now you just take my compliments to Miss Trenchard when I goes out shooting with injurious weapons I always wears my own genuine shooting costume. That's the natural buff tipped off with a little red paint.
Bin Good gracious, he'd look like Hadam and Heve, in the garden of Eden. [Exit Binny.]
Asa Wal, there's a queer lot of fixings. [Sees shower bath.] What on airth is that? Looks like a 'skeeter net, only it 'ain't long enough for a feller to lay down in unless he was to coil himself up like a woodchuck in a knot hole. I'd just like to know what the all-fired thing is meant for. [Calls.] Say Puffy, Puffy, Oh! he told me if I wanted him to ring the bell. [Looks round room.] Where on airth is the bell? [Slips partly inside shower bath, pulls rope, water comes down.] Murder! help! fire! Water! I'm drown.
Enter Skillet, Sharpe, R. 1 E. Binny, Buddicombe, L. 1 E., seeing Asa, all laugh, and keep it up till curtain falls.
Enter Mrs. Mountchessington and Augusta, L. 1 E., dressed for Archery Meeting.
Mrs M No, my dear Augusta, you must be very careful. I don't by any means want you to give up De Boots, his expectations are excellent, but, pray be attentive to this American savage, as I rather think he will prove the better match of the two, if what I hear of Mark Trenchard's property be correct.
Aug I am so tired, ma, of admiring things I hate.
Mrs. M Yes, my poor love, yet we must all make sacrifices to society. Look at your poor sister, with the appetite.
Aug What am I to be enthusiastic about with that American, Ma?
Mrs M Oh! I hardly know yet, my dear. We must study him. I think if you read up Sam Slick a little, it might be useful, and just dip into Bancroft's History of the United States, or some of Russell's Letters; you should know something of George Washington, of whom the Americans are justly proud.