“Ah! just so, just so—now let me see; and, if I remember rightly, you have a vote for the County.”
“I ave, sir, and allus votes blue, and that’s moore.”
“Then you’re on our side. I’m very glad indeed to hear that; a vote’s a vote, you know, now-a-days.”
Any one would have thought, to hear Mr. Locust, that votes were scarce commodities, whereas we know that they are among the most plentiful articles of commerce as well as the cheapest.
“And you have, I think, a family, Mr. Snooks.”
“Ah! how very nice, how laudable to make a little provision for them: as I often say, if a man can only leave his children a few hundreds apiece, it’s something.”
The solicitor watched his client’s face as he uttered this profound truism, and the face being as open and genuine as was Snooks’ character, it said plainly enough “Yes, I have a few hundreds.”
“Well then,” continued Mr. Locust, “having been in business all these years, and being, as times go, tolerably successful, being a careful man, and having got together by honest industry a nice little independency—”
Here the learned gentleman paused, and here, unfortunately, Snooks’ open and candid heart revealed itself through his open and candid countenance.
“I _believe_,” said Mr. Locust, “I am right?”
“Very charming, very gratifying to one’s feelings,” continued Mr. Locust; “and then, just as you are beginning to get comfortable and getting your family placed in the world, here comes this what shall I call him, I never like to use strong language, this intolerable blackguard, and calls you a thief—a detestable thief.”
“Well, he didn’t use that air word, sir—I wool say that,” said Mr. Snooks.
“In law he did, my good man—he meant it and said it—he insinuated that you cheated the poor—you serve a good many of the poor, I think?”
“Well, he insinuated that you cheated them by giving short weight and bad coals—that is worse than being a thief, to my mind—such a man deserves hanging.”
“Damn him,” said Snooks, “that’s it, is it?”
“That’s it, my dear sir, smooth it over as you will. I don’t want to make more of it than necessary, but we must look at it fairly and study the consequences. Now I want to ask you particularly, because we must claim special damage for this, if possible—have you lost any customers through this outrageous slander?”