WHEN AND WHOM TO MARRY.
1. EARLY MARRIAGES.—Women too early married always remain small in
stature, weak, pale, emaciated, and more or less miserable. We have
no natural nor moral right to perpetuate unhealthy constitutions, therefore women should not marry too young and take upon themselves the responsibility, by producing a weak and feeble generation of children. It is better not to consummate a marriage until a full development of body and mind has taken place. A young woman of twenty-one to twenty-five, and a young man of twenty-three to twenty-eight, are considered the right age in order to produce an intelligent and healthy offspring. "First make the tree good, then shall the fruit be good also."
2. If marriage is delayed too long in either sex, say from thirty
to forty-five, the offspring will often be puny and more liable to
insanity, idiocy, and other maladies.
3. PUBERTY.—This is the period when childhood passes from immaturity
of the sexual functions to maturity. Woman attains this state a year
or two sooner than man. In the hotter climates the period of puberty
is from twelve to fifteen years of age, while in cold climates, such as Russia, the United States, and Canada, puberty is frequently delayed until the seventeenth year.
4. DISEASED PARENTS.—We do the race a serious wrong in multiplying
the number of hereditary invalids. Whole families of children have
fallen heir to lives of misery and suffering by the indiscretion and
poor judgment of parents. No young man in the vigor of health
should think for a moment of marrying a girl who has the impress
of consumption or other disease already stamped upon her feeble
constitution. It only multiplies his own suffering, and brings no
material happiness to his invalid wife. On the other hand, no healthy, vigorous young woman ought to unite her destiny with a man, no matter how much she adored him, who is not healthy and able to brave the hardships of life. If a young man or young woman with feeble body cannot find permanent relief either by medicine or change of climate, no thoughts of marriage should be entertained. Courting a patient may be pleasant, but a hard thing in married life to enjoy. The young lady who supposes that any young man wishes to marry her for the sake of nursing her through life makes a very grave mistake.
5. WHOM TO CHOOSE FOR A HUSBAND.—The choice of a husband requires the
coolest judgment and the most vigilant sagacity. A true union based on
organic law is happiness, but let all remember that oil and water
will not mix: the lion will not lie down with the lamb, nor can
ill-assorted marriages be productive of aught but discord.
"Let the woman take
An elder than herself, so wears she to him—
So sways she, rules in her husband's heart."
Look carefully at the disposition.—See that your intended Spouse is
kind-hearted, generous, and willing to respect the opinions of others, though not in sympathy with them. Don't marry a selfish tyrant who thinks only of himself.
6. BE CAREFUL.—Don't marry an intemperate man with a view of
reforming him. Thousands have tried it and failed. Misery, sorrow
and a very hell on earth have been the consequences of too many such
generous undertakings.
7. THE TRUE AND ONLY TEST which any man should look for in woman is
modesty in demeanor before marriage, absence both of assumed ignorance
and disagreeable familiarity, and a pure and religious frame of mind. Where these are present, he need not doubt that he has a faithful and a chaste wife.
8. MARRYING FIRST COUSINS is dangerous to offspring. The observation
is universal, the children of married first cousins are too often
idiots, insane, clump-footed, crippled, blind, or variously diseased. First cousins are always sure to impart all the hereditary disease in both families to their children. If both are healthy there is less danger.
9. DO NOT CHOOSE ONE TOO GOOD, or too far above you, lest the inferior
dissatisfying the superior, breed those discords which are worse than
the trials of a single life. Don't be too particular; for you might go
farther and fare worse. As far as you yourself are faulty, you should
put up with faults. Don't cheat a consort by getting one much better
than you can give. We are not in heaven yet, and must put up with
their imperfections, and instead of grumbling at them, be glad they
are no worse; remembering that a faulty one is a great deal better
than none, if he loves you.