The commanding officer made no reply, but simply pointed to his notice, which read:
It was Saturday night, and the rival butchers were shouting against each other.
“’Ere’s a piece of beef,” shouted one, “any price yer like. No war prices here.”
“Come ’ere,” he shouted. “Don’t ’ave piece at any price; have piece with honor.”
A man in the Veteran Reserves was called up recently.
After a week at his new quarters he was brought up before the officer commanding for not cleaning his rifle one day. Said the officer commanding:—
“Hem, you’re an old soldier re-enlisted, I see. I suppose it will be many years ago since you were reprimanded? What was your last offence? Can you remember what it was?”
Old Soldier (with irony on account of the repeated assertions to his age): “For not cleanin’ me bow an’ arrow, sir!”
A cricket match was taking place near a German internment camp. Many were the comments on the game.
One of the British soldiers who had taken part in the game turned to a German officer, and asked what he thought of the game and the British cricketers.
“Oh,” he said, “they’re very good, but we Germans can beat you on the battlefield.”
“Oh, I suppose you get the most ‘runs’ there!” said the soldier.
Chaplain (in French town near the Front)—“I have been working so hard of late that I feel rather run down. I must try a tonic.”
Chaplain (badly shocked)—“Oh, that’s Teutonic!”
One of the neatest stories of how a military officer can do the right thing without sacrifice of dignity is related of the man who afterwards became Commander-in-Chief of the British Army. He was sitting in a high-toned tap-room of Dublin, where privates were not permitted the privilege of the bar. Two finely-built men of a dragoon regiment, wearing long-service stripes, entered and called for drinks, which were curtly refused them. They turned without a word and were retiring in good order.
“Halt!” came sharply from the officer in civilian’s clothes. From sheer force of habit the soldiers obeyed and faced about.
“I can purchase what I want here, I suppose?” said the officer as he advanced to the bar.
“Then serve these two gentlemen with what they want,” and there was a pleasant emphasis on the title. “Gentlemen, will you drink with me?”