'The next thing,' said the master of ceremonies--rather perturbed because the last man had exceeded his appointed time by three minutes--'is a song called "Slattery's Mounted Foot," by the members of the troupe.'
The curtain went up to show a man clad more or less as a soldier. He wore a marine's red tunic, baggy blue trousers with broad yellow stripes, a cocked hat with an enormous plume, a naval cutlass, and a pair of leather sea-boots with huge tin spurs. He sang the first verse of a song amidst much amusement, and then started the rollicking chorus:
Down from the mountains came the squadrons and platoons, Four-and-twenty fighting men and a couple of stout gossoons.
At the cue 'squadrons and platoons' the Mounted Foot, riding home-made hobby-horses with flowing manes and tails, galloped on to the stage. Their appearance was the signal for a volley of shouts and laughter, in which the music was quite inaudible, and truly they were comical. There were six others besides the first man, who, it would appear, was General Slattery himself. They all wore burlesque military uniforms. One was a hussar, another a lancer, a third a soldier in a British line regiment, a fourth an Indian cavalryman with lance and turban all complete, a fifth a cross between a Chasseur d'Afrique and a Chinese brave, and the last an artilleryman. The _pièce de résistance_ was the artillery itself, for the last man to arrive led the very unwilling Nellie, the ship's pet pig, to which was attached a large cardboard cannon. Headed by their General, they pranced about the stage enjoying themselves hugely. Their efforts brought the house down, for they quite succeeded in making fools of themselves, and 'Slattery's Mounted Foot' was a long way the best event of the evening.
The remaining turns were too numerous to be mentioned in detail. They included further ditties by the singers of 'Archibald' and 'The Lonely Robin,' a banjo solo, some really clever conjuring and lightning sketching by an engine-room artificer, and an absurd sketch, written on board, called 'The Broker's Man.' The plot of this production, if it could be called by such a name, can be deduced from the list of characters:
_Mr Stony-Broke_--an impoverished aristocrat. _Mrs Stony-Broke_--his wife. _Miss Gertrude Stony-Broke._ _General Sir Thomas Dammit, K.C.B._--a rich uncle. _Mr Hardcash_--a hard-hearted landlord. _Mr Theodore Buggins_--the broker's man. _Hon. Bertie de Montmorency_--Gertrude's fiancé. _Giles_--a footman.