King Billy's Troubles (or Governmental Red-Tapeism) "It is perfectly monstrous," said I, "this is the ninth pair he has had since shearing. Buckmaster himself would be ruined at this rate."
"My love," suggested Mrs. Tallowfat, "he can't go about without them."
I made some pettish observations about the "poor Indian" and "beauty
unadorned &c.," but Mrs. Tallowfat said "stuff" in a tone which precluded
argument. "The Bellwethers are coming up to the station next week" said
she "and to have a black fellow walking about--Oh, it's not to be thought
of."
"Budgeree, climb tree" says King Billy, turning his dilapidations towards
us with the elegant simplicity of the savage. "Slip down long o' 'possum. Big fellow hole that one."
There was no disputing it.
"Well my dear" said I, "he'll get no more from me I'll--I'll write to the
department."
His Majesty King William the First was the chieftain of the Great
Glimmera blacks, and carried on his manly breast a brass label inscribed
with his name, date and title. He was general "knock-about-man" on the
station, and as I had been idiot enough to allow myself to be made a
corresponding member of the Board for the Protection of Aboriginals, William imagined that he had a right to demand from me unlimited clothing. The Board liberally supplied the few blacks who yet survived the gin bottle with a blanket per year (by the way, the storekeepers who gave rum in exchange vowed the quality was most inferior); by some accident the blanket intended for the monarch had been captured by some inferior aboriginal, and had never been replaced. William indignantly demanded to be clothed, and to quiet his outcries I gave him a pair of pantaloons. The gift was so highly appreciated, that when the blanket did arrive, His Majesty declined to wear it. "What for you gib it that." "No good," said he, with profound contempt, and continued to eat, drink, sleep, ride, and climb trees in my pantaloons.
"Mrs. Tallowfat," said I, "I will write to the department."
I did write--a forcible, and I flatter myself, even elegant letter, setting forth the poor savage's yearning for civilisation, begging that the Board would take the matter into their favourable consideration, and supply the dethroned monarch with one pair of moleskins a year. A week passed, and I received a letter from the secretary.
8796/B.
BOARD FOR THE PROTECTION OF ABORIGINES.
July 27th, 186--
Sir,--I have the honour to acknowledge your letter of 20th inst., requesting that the aboriginal named in the margin may be supplied with one pair of moleskin trousers annually by this department, and in reply have the honour to inform you that I will lay the letter before the Board at their next sitting, and communicate to you their decision on the subject.
I have the honour to be, Sir, Your most obedient humble servant, JOHN P. ROBINSON, Secretary to the Board. To Tiyrus Tallowfat, Esq., J.P., Cock-and-a-Bull Station, Budgeree Flat, Old Man Plains, Great Glimmera.
This, so far, was very satisfactory, and I triumphantly snubbed my wife, who had ventured to hint that I should find my application treated with nonchalance. Weeks, however, rolled away, Billy wore out two more pairs of trousers, and the Board did not write. I sent another despatch; no answer. Another; no answer. A third; still no reply. I got angry, and penned a sarcastic note. "Am I Briareus?" asked I, sardonically, "that I should keep a hundred pairs of breeches on hand." My sarcasm had the desired result. It provoked an answer.
No. 11,289/C.
28th September, 186--
Sir, I have the honour, by the direction of the Board for the Protection
of Aboriginies, to acknowledge the correspondence cited in the margin, and to inform you in reply that the Board have given your application their fullest and most complete attention. The practice, however, of supplying breeches to black fellows is one which has not hitherto obtained in this department, authorised, under Act Vic. cxxii., Sec.4001 to provide blankets and petticoats only. I am directed, however, to inform you that the Board will again consider this somewhat important matter, with a view to bringing it under the notice of the Hon. The Chief Secretary at an early date.
I am further instructed to say that your observation on the subject of
"Briareus" is not only incorrect, but considered by the Board to be quite
uncalled for.
I have the honour to be, &c.,
JOHN P. ROBINSON.