ANECDOTE IN ILLUSTRATION.--DERIVATION.--FATHER OF QUACKS.--A MEDICAL "BONFIRE."--THE "SAMSON" OF THE PROFESSION.--SIR ASTLEY.--U. S. SURVEYOR-GENERAL HAMMOND.--HOMEOPATHIC QUACKS, ETC.--A MUDDLED DEFINITION.--"STOP THIEF!"--CRIPPLED FOR LIFE!--TWO POUNDS CALOMEL.--VICTIMS.--WASHINGTON, JACKSON, HARRISON.--THE COUNTRY QUACK.--A TRUE AND LUDICROUS ANECDOTE.--DYEING TO DIE!--A SCARED DOCTOR.--DROPSY!--A HASTY WEDDING!--A COUNTRY CONSULTATION.--"SCENES FROM WESTERN PRACTICE."--"TWIST ROOT."--A JOLLY TRIO.--NEW "BUST" OF CUPID.--AN UNWILLING LISTENER. 157
DEFINITION.--ADVERTISING CHARLATANS.--CITY IMPOSTORS.--FALSE NAMES.--"ADVICE FREE."--INTIMIDATIONS.--WHOLESALE ROBBERY.-- VISITING THEIR DENS IN DISGUISE.--PASSING THE CERBERUS.-- WINDINGS.--INS AND OUTS.--THE IRISH PORTER.--QUEER "TWINS," AND A "TRIPLET" DOCTOR.--A HISTORY OF A KNAVE.--BOOT-BLACK AND BOTTLE-WASHER.--PERQUISITES.--PURCHASED DIPLOMAS.-- "INSTITUTES."--WHOLESALE SLAUGHTER OF INFANTS.--FEMALE HARPIES.--A BOSTON HARPY.--WHERE OUR "LOST CHILDREN" GO.-- END OF A WRETCH. 180
A WANT SUPPLIED.--ORIGINAL ANECDOTES OF ABERNETHY.--A LIVE IRISHMAN.--MADAM ROTHSCHILD.--LARGE FEET.--A SHANGHAI ROOSTER.--SPREADING HERSELF.--KEROSENE.--"SALERATUS."--HIS LAST JOKE.--AN ASTONISHED DARKY.--OLD DR. K.'S MARE.--A SCARED CUSTOMER.--"WHAT'S TRUMPS?"--"LET GO THEM HALYARDS."-- MEDICAL TITBITS.--MORE MUSTARD THAN MEAT.--"I WANT TO BE AN ANGEL."--TOOTH-DRAWING.--DR. BEECHER VS. DR. HOLMES.-- STEALING TIME.--CHOLERA FENCED IN.--"A JOKE THAT'S NOT A JOKE."--A DRY SHOWER-BATH.--PARBOILING AN OLD LADY. 200
PAST AND PRESENT.--BIBLE ASTROLOGERS AND FORTUNE-TELLERS.-- ARABIAN.--EASTERN.--ENGLISH.--QUEEN'S FAVORITE.--LILLY.--A LUCKY GUESS.--THE GREAT LONDON FIRE FORETOLD.--HOW.--OUR "TIDAL WAVE" AND AGASSIZ.--A HALL OF FORTUNE-TELLERS.-- PRESENT.--VISIT EN MASSE.--"FILLIKY MILLIKY."--"CHARGE BAYONETS!"--A FOWL PROCEEDING.--FINDING LOST PROPERTY.--THE MAGIC MIRROR EXPOSÉ.--"ONE MORE UNFORTUNATE."--PROCURESSES.-- BOSTON MUSEUM.--"A NICE OLD GENTLEMAN."--MONEY DOES IT.-- GREAT SUMS OF MONEY.--"LOVE POWDER" EXPOSÉ.--HASHEESH.--"DOES HE LOVE ME?" 227
THEIR ORIGIN, BOYHOOD, EARLY STRUGGLES, ETC.--DOCTORS ARE PUBLIC PROPERTY.--DR. MOTT, OF OYSTER BAY.--DR. PARKER.--A "PLOUGH-BOY."--THE FARMER'S BOY AND THE OLD DOCTOR.--SCENE IN BELLEVUE HOSPITAL.--"LEAVES FROM THE LIFE OF AN UNFLEDGED ÆSCULAPIAN."--FIRST PATIENT.--"NONPLUSSED!"--ALL RIGHT AT LAST.--PROFESSORS EBERLE AND DEWEES.--A HARD START.--"FOOTING IT."--ABERNETHY'S BOYHOOD.--"OLD SQUEERS."--SPARE THE BOY AND SPOIL THE ROD.--A DIGRESSION.--SKIRTING A BOG.--AN AGREEABLE TURN.--PROFESSOR HOLMES.--A HOMELESS STUDENT. 253