But I tell you he had a perfect right to put me off his property. The thing I can't overlook--[_Sees JOHN and LUCY. Points finger at them accusingly._] Theodore has told me what you thought.... Please don't judge us by yourselves again--you licentious-minded married people!
[_He shrugs his shoulders with fastidious disgust and turns his back upon them._
But Ernest ... I'm bound to say when two people run away together----
Ah, Theodore! you, too? Are all married people alike? Did we want to "run away" as you call it? Did we not ask for a week to think it over? Did we not stipulate that in any case we must frankly face the family first? But this person--what did he do? he ordered us off his property, like trespassers! What could we do? Sit down in the road and wait a week? Bah! we went home--you suspicious married people, you hypocritical, unspeakable married people! [_JUDGE has difficulty in restraining JOHN._] Why, I believe our good friend the Judge here is the only decent-minded, properly married person on your property.
Dev-oted to his wife. Lucy is jealous of what I'm doing for my wife. [_Controls laughter._] Now come, we must all just let bygones be bygones. We know your intentions are honorable, your courage admirable; and for whatever was amiss in word, deed, or thought, we all humbly apologize--don't we, John? [_JOHN bows uncomfortably._] Lucy? Theodore? And now I want you all to tell Ernest and Helen what you told me--that their arguments against marriage are unanswerable, their logic unimpeachable, and we no longer have the slightest intention or desire to get them divorced by matrimony. [_JOHN, THEODORE, and LUCY look dubious. JUDGE crosses over and pinches them. HELEN and ERNEST are utterly bewildered._] Why, we wouldn't let a little thing like marriage come between them for the world, would we, John? would we, Lucy? would we, Theodore?
[_ERNEST looks from one to the other in amazement._
Very well, then invite the whole family here next Sunday!
Yes, you are to begin your new life together this evening! Isn't it lovely?
But that's so sudden. Why, we--we aren't ready.
Ernest's vacation begins to-morrow--your honeymoon.
Those new Paris clothes John gave you--your trousseau.