[_going-to-dinner manner as she leads the way_]
We can hardly go out formally because we're already out, you know. Aunt Susan, will you sit over there on John's right? Doctor Hamilton by me? Rex on the other side?
Here, Helen. No, Jean, you are beside Rex, you know.
Cousin Charlie--that's it. [_All take their places._] Most extraordinary weather for September, isn't it?
That's the first mosquito I have ever known on our place.
We never have mosquitoes here. You must have been mistaken.
[_The servants are passing in and out of house with courses. The BUTLER now brings a telegram to JUDGE._
From Julia! [_Tears it open eagerly, reads, and then shouts._] She's coming back to me, she's coming back! Look at that, look at that!
[_Jumps up and shows telegram to JOHN. Then taking it around to LUCY he sings to tune of "Merrily we roll along"_:
Aunt Julia is coming back Coming back--coming back Aunt Julia is coming back Coming back from Reno.
From Reno? That sounds like divorce, Uncle Everett.
Like divorce? Does that sound like divorce? [_Takes telegram from LUCY and hands it to HELEN._] Read it aloud.
"Dear boy, I can't stand it, either. Come to me or I go to you."
Coming back from Reno. [_Breaks off--to HELEN._] So you thought we wanted a divorce, did you?
[Illustration: _From a photograph by White Studio._
JUDGE: We thought we believed in trial marriage. Nothing of the sort--trial separation! What marriage put asunder divorce has joined together.]
[_looks at her a moment, then in a burst_]
Well, _I_ did. The dream of my life--your Aunt Julia's, too. We thought we believed in trial marriage, but we don't--we believe in trial _separation_!
They thought they didn't love each other, but they do, you see.
We don't, we don't, but we can't get along without each other ... got the habit of having each other around and can't break it.... This morning I telegraphed: "Are you doing this just for my sake?" She replied, "Tutti-frutti." [_Sings._] Aunt Julia's coming back. Oh, I'm too happy to eat. [_Singing, while others eat and drink_:
Coming back, coming back, Aunt Julia is coming back Coming back from Reno.
And I don't care who knows it. The more the better for marriage. The truth--give me more truth, give me more--champagne. [_BUTLER fills glass as JUDGE raises it._] Here's to your Aunt Julia, the best wife--I ever had. [_All rise, drink, laugh, and sit down._] And I'll never, never get another.... You know I thought maybe I might. Oh, Everett, Everett, you sly dog, you old idiot you!
