XI. Etiquette of the Marriage Engagement 174 The Proposal 174 Announcement of Engagement 179 Bridal "Showers" 181 The Broken Engagement 183 Preparation for a Wedding 185
XII. The Conduct of a Wedding 194 The Church Wedding 194 The Home Wedding 201 The Wedding Breakfast 204 The Wedding Journey 208 The Wedding Fee 208 Wedding Presents 210 The Country Wedding 212
XV. Military, Naval, and Flag Etiquette 231 The Formal Military Wedding 231 Naval and Yachting Usage 232 Etiquette of the Flag 233
"THE secret of success in society is a certain heartiness and sympathy. A man who is not happy in the company cannot find any word in his memory that will fit the occasion. All his information is a little impertinent. A man who is happy there finds in every turn of the conversation equally lucky occasions for the introduction of that which he has to say. The favorites of society, and what it calls _whole souls_, are able men, and of more spirit than wit, who have no uncomfortable egoism, but who exactly fill the hour and the company, contented and contenting, at a marriage or a funeral, a ball or a jury, a water party or a shooting match."
SOCIETY is a game which all men play. "Etiquette" is the name given the rules of the game. If you play it well, you win. If you play it ill, you lose. The prize is a certain sort of happiness without which no human being is ever quite satisfied.
Because the demand for social happiness is thus fundamental in human nature, the game has to be played quite seriously. If played seriously, it is perforce successful, even when the outward signs of triumph are lacking. Played seriously, it becomes a worthy part of the great enterprise of noble living, the science of which is called "Ethics." Therefore the best etiquette is that which is based upon the fundamental principles of ethics.
The etiquette, as well as the ethics, of to-day may well be summed up in the one maxim known as the "Golden Rule": "Do unto others as you would that others should do unto you." Or in the philosophic statement of it, given by Kant: "Act so that the maxim of thy conduct shall be fit to be universal law."
A certain social sense is, therefore, the foundation upon which all concerted action rests; and this, permeating the character and winning conformity in the life, produces a social order which is at once the criterion of civilization and the source of its power.
