"This pair is subjected to the same slow and critical examination, after which the lady inquires:
"'The price of these gloves, madam, is seven-and-six.' Professing to confirm his statement by minutely examining the ticket, though, of course, he is perfectly well aware that there is no mistake, he repeats: 'Yes, madam, seven-and-six.'
"Again the gloves are laid upon the counter, and again the D.Y.G. replaces the lid and attacks another box! Meanwhile the lady's gaze is wandering abstractedly around the shop; picking out an acquaintance here and there she smiles a recognition; and she seems a little vexed when a third pair of gloves is placed before her. The same performance follows, with the same serenity on both sides, but the price has dropped to five shillings.
"Then the kids are produced, in all shades and at all prices, and are in turn deposited upon the counter without comment.
"At last the D.Y.G. has exhausted his stock and his familiar recitations, but fortunately not his urbanity, and he looks at his customer with deprecation in his eyes.
"'You had some white kid gloves in the window a week or two ago,' she murmurs, smiling sweetly; 'ten buttons; they were a special price, I think.'
"'Two-and-eleven, madam?' he asks, hopefully.
"'I believe they were. Yes, two-and-eleven,' she responds, as though consideration had confirmed her recollection; and in two minutes more her wants are satisfied, and she departs to another counter to the performance of Scene 2 in the same act."
"And this is typical of woman's methods?" I ask.
"It serves to show," he replies, "how unfathomable her methods are to mere man. When _we_ unimaginative mortals enter a shop for a similar purpose we say:
"'I want a pair of tan kids, seven and three-quarters, about three-and-six,' and before the current of cold air which came in with us has circulated round the shop, we are going out with the little parcel in our pocket. Now why does not woman do the same? _You_ don't know--nobody knows; nobody really wants to know, or to see her act otherwise."
"It is a very silly exaggeration," I said, "and if it is characteristic of _your_ methods they are certainly not past finding out."
The Cynic is really a very irritating person. He has a way of ignoring your rejoinders which is most annoying, and makes you want to rise up and shake him. Besides, it isn't courteous.