Vell, I vas yoost lookin vonce so goot like dot shnow, But I tumbled me off, und vay I did go; Nicht so glean, like der mut dot growed on der shtreet, I vas shcraped von der poots off, of der peobles I meet. Dinkin und shworin, I like of I die, To been shtiff like a mackerel mit no von to buy; Vhile I trink me some lager to got a shquare meal, I vas afraid von der ghosts mine pody vood shteal. Got in Himmel! how ish dot? Vas I gone down so low, Vhen I vonce vas so vhiteness like dot goot-lookin shnow?
Yah, for dhrue, I vas told you, I vas vonce pure like dot shnow, Mit blaindy of lofe, von mine heart out vas grow; I dink von dhem efery von, and dhey dink von me too, Und I vas humpugged mit fhladeries, dot's yoost vot dhey do. Mine Fadder, Mudder, Gabruder der same, Vas loose me some sympadies, und forget vonce mine name; Und dot raskals who comes of me in der tarkness py nite, Vood gone more as a plocks to got out of mine site, Der coat von mine leeks und poots of mine toe, Vas not gleaner as doze of dot goot-lookin shnow.
It was gweer it shood been dot dot goot-lookin shnow Vood make on a pad mans mit novhere to go; Und how gweer it vood been, vhen yoost pehindt tay, Ofer der hail und das vind mit mine pody vood pblay, Hobbin, skibben, und me dedt like an eel-- Mine mat vas got oop, never a vord could I shpeil, To been zeen py der peobles who vas valk der town, Who vas dickled mit pbleasures, of der shnow vas come down, I yoost lay der ground, und gone died mit a woe, Mid a pedgwilts und billows, von der goot-lookin shnow.
In Germantown, near Philadelphia, several years ago, a native, simple-minded Dutchman, named Jacob Schneider, kept a liquor and lager-beer saloon. Jacob was not only fond of drinking lager with his customers, but would not refuse either corn-juice, red-eye, or Jersey lightning, when asked to imbibe thereof in a social way--the customer, of course, paying an extra half-dime for Jacob's drink. One would not suppose that this friendly habit could, by any possibility, bring trouble and vexation upon honest Jacob; but it did, as we shall presently show.
One eventful night it was observed that Schneider had shut up his saloon and gone home full an hour earlier than usual. Being asked, next day, what was the matter, he told the following droll story:--