"Two passions, both degenerate, for they both Began in honour, gradually obtained Rule over her, and vexed her daily life; An unremitting,[578] avaricious thrift; And a strange thraldom of maternal love, 710 That held her spirit, in its own despite, Bound--by vexation, and regret, and scorn, Constrained forgiveness, and relenting vows, And tears, in pride suppressed, in shame concealed-- To a poor dissolute Son, her only child. 715 --Her wedded days had opened with mishap, Whence dire dependence. What could she perform To shake the burthen off? Ah! there was felt, Indignantly, the weakness of her sex. She mused, resolved, adhered to her resolve; 720 The hand grew slack in alms-giving, the heart[579] Closed by degrees to charity; heaven's blessing Not seeking from that source, she placed her trust[580] In ceaseless pains--and strictest parsimony Which sternly hoarded all that could be spared, 725 From each day's need, out of each day's least gain.[581]
"Thus[582] all was re-established, and a pile Constructed, that sufficed for every end, Save the contentment of the builder's mind; A mind by nature indisposed to aught 730 So placid, so inactive, as content; A mind intolerant of lasting peace, And cherishing the pang her heart deplored.[583] Dread life of conflict! which I oft compared To the agitation of a brook that runs 735 Down a rocky mountain, buried now and lost In silent pools, now in strong eddies chained;[584] But never to be charmed to gentleness: Its best attainment fits of such repose As timid eyes might shrink from fathoming.[585][HW] 740
"A sudden illness seized her in the strength Of life's autumnal season.--Shall I tell How on her bed of death the Matron lay, To Providence submissive, so she thought; But fretted, vexed, and wrought upon, almost 745 To anger, by the malady that griped Her prostrate frame with unrelaxing power, As the fierce eagle fastens on the lamb? She prayed, she moaned;--her husband's sister watched Her dreary pillow, waited on her needs; 750 And yet the very sound of that kind foot Was anguish to her ears! 'And must she rule,' This was the death-doomed[586] Woman heard to say In bitterness, 'and must she rule and reign, 'Sole Mistress of this house, when I am gone? 755 'Tend what I tended,[587] calling it her own!' Enough;--I fear, too much.--One vernal evening,[588] While she was yet in prime of health and strength, I well remember, while I passed her door Alone,[589] with loitering step, and upward eye 760 Turned towards the planet Jupiter that hung Above the centre of the Vale, a voice Roused me, her voice; it said, 'That glorious star 'In its untroubled element will shine 'As now it shines, when we are laid in earth 765 'And safe from all our sorrows.' With a sigh She spake, yet, I believe, not unsustained By faith in glory that shall far transcend Aught by these perishable heavens disclosed To sight or mind. Nor less than care divine 770 Is divine mercy. She, who had rebelled, Was into meekness softened and subdued; Did, after trials not in vain prolonged, With resignation sink into the grave; And her uncharitable acts,[590] I trust, 775 And harsh unkindnesses are all forgiven, Tho', in this Vale, remembered with deep awe."