Then we ran, an' ran, an' ran, sor, Through all the blessid noight, An' waz many miles away, sor, Before the day was loight. Then the lady saw my features, An' she stopped an' started cryin', For she found that _I_ waz _Tim_ instead Ov me, which waz _most_ tryin'.
In the hurry an' the scurry Ov the darkness, don't yez see, She had made a big mistake, _An' rescued_ him _instead ov_ me— An' to me it waz confusin' An' most hard ov realizin'; For to find yerself _another_ person, Sor, iz most surprisin'.
An' pwhen the lady left me, An' Oi'd got down to the shore An' found a ship to take me home, Oi puzzled more an' more, For, ov course, the woife an' family Ov Finnegan's was moine, sor, Tho' Oi didn't know the wan ov 'em By hook, nor crook, nor soign, sor.
But Oi came to the decision They belonged to me no doubt, So directly Oi had landed Oi began to look about. Tim Finnegan had told me That he lived up in Killarn'y, An' Oi found meself that far, somehow, By carnying an' blarney.
_An'_ Oi found me woife an' family— But, ach! upon my loife Oi waz greatly disappointed In my family an' woife, For my woife was _not_ a beauty, An' her temper wazn't cheerin' While the family—onkindly— At their father took to jeerin'.
"Oi waz better off as Pat," thought Oi, "Than Oi'll _iver_ be as Tim. Bedad! Oi'd better be _meself_ An' lave off bein' him. Oi won't stay here in Killarn'y, Phwere they trate poor Tim so coolly, But purtend to be meself agin In dear old Ballyhooley.'
So Oi came to Ballyhooley, An' Oi've niver told before To anyone the story Oi've been tellin' to ye, sor, An' it, all ov it, occurred, sor, Just exactly as Oi state it, Though, ov course, ye'll understand, sor, Oi don't wish ye to repate it.
In the fashionable quarter Of a fashionable town Lived a fashionable barber, And his name was Mister Brown. Of hair, the most luxuriant, This person had a crop, And—a—so had his assistants, And—the boy who swept the shop.
He had pleasant manners—very— And his smile was very bland, While his flow of conversation Was exceptionally grand. The difficulty was that he Did _not_ know when to stop; Neither did his good assistants, Nor—the boy who swept the shop.
He'd begin about the weather, And remark the day was fine, Or, perhaps, "it would be brighter If the sun would only shine." Or, he'd "noticed the barometer Had fallen with a flop; And—a—so had his assistants, And—the boy who swept the shop."