A long time ago there lived a peasant named “Crabb,” who one day drove into a certain city his cart laden with a bundle of faggots, drawn by two oxen. He soon found a purchaser for his wood in the person of a learned doctor, who bought it for two dollars, and, while the money was being counted out, the peasant, peeping in at the door, saw how comfortably his customer was eating and drinking; and the thought thereupon came into his head that he would like to be a professor, too. So he waited a little while, and at last mustered courage to ask whether he could not be a doctor. “Oh, yes,” replied the doctor, “that can soon be managed!”
“First of all, buy an A B C book, one which has a cock-a-doodle-do for a frontispiece; secondly, sell your cart and oxen, and turn them into money to buy good clothes with, and what else belongs to a doctor’s appearance; lastly, let a sign be painted, with the words, ‘I am the Doctor Know-All,’ and nail that over your house door.”
The countryman did all that he was told, and after he had practised a little time, but not to much purpose, a certain very wealthy baron had some money stolen from him. Mention was made to the baron of Doctor Know-All, who dwelt in such a village, and who would be sure to know where the money was gone. As soon as the baron heard of him, he ordered his horses put to his carriage and drove to the place where the doctor lived. The baron inquired if he were the Doctor Know-All, and he replying “Yes,” the baron said he must return with him and discover his money.
“Very well,” replied the doctor; “but my wife Gertrude must accompany me.”
To this the baron agreed, and, all being seated in the carriage, away they drove back again. When they arrived at the house a splendid collation was on the table, of which the doctor was invited to partake. “Certainly,” said he, “but my wife Gertrude, too”; and he sat down with her at the bottom of the table. As soon as the first servant entered with a dish of delicate soup, the doctor poked his wife, saying, “He is the first!” meaning he was the first who had brought in meat. But the servant imagined he meant to say, “He is the first thief!” and because he really was so, he felt very much disturbed, and told his comrades in the kitchen, “The doctor knows all; we shall come off badly, for he has said I am the first!” When the second servant heard this he felt afraid to go; but he was obliged, and as soon as he entered the room with the dish, the man poked his wife again, and said: “Gertrude, that is the second!” This frightened the servant so much that he left the room as soon as possible; and the third servant who entered fared no better, for the doctor said to his wife, “That is the third!” The fourth servant had to bring in a covered dish, and the baron said to the doctor he must show his powers by telling truly what was in the dish. Now, there were crabs in it, and the doctor looked at the dish for some minutes, considering how to get out of the scrape. At last he cried out: “Oh, poor _Crabb_ that I am!” When the baron heard this, he exclaimed: “Good! he knows it! he knows, too, where my money is!”