“The devil I do!” exclaimed Fergus; “ha! ha! ha! Faith, I'm braver than I had given myself credit for.”
“And we are glad to hear that the present government, sensible of their obligations to Fitzgerald O'Driscol, Esq., are about to confer the office of Stipendiary Magistrate upon his son. We are, indeed, glad to hear this; the office cannot possibly be better bestowed; and thus, so far as relates to his father, at least, may valuable public services in critical times be ever appropriately rewarded!”
“Well, Fergy, what do you think of our friend Swiggerly now?”
“In God's name, sir, what does all this rigmarole, in which there is scarcely a word of truth, mean?”
“Mane! why it manes, sir, that I am anxious to get you a Stipendiary Magistracy.”
“A Stipendiary Magistracy, father, if you wish and if you can; but not by such means as this--it is shameful, father, indeed it is.”
“I tell you, Fergus, that unless a man plays a game in this world, he has little business in it. Manes! Why, what objections can you have to the manes? A bit of a harmless paragraph that contains very little more than the truth. I tell you that I threw it out as a hint to my friend the Castle, and I hope it will act on it, that's all.”
“Well, well,” exclaimed the son, laughing, “take care you don't overdo the business; for my own part, I wish to obtain a magistracy only by honorable means;--that is, since you have put the matter into my head, for until last week I never once thought of it.”
“Neither did I until a couple of weeks ago; and between you and me, Fergus, the country's in a devil of a state--a very trying one for Stipendiaries,” replied his father; “but it struck me that I am myself rather advanced in years for such an appointment, and, in the meantime, that something of the kind might be in your way, and it is for this rason that I am feeling the pulse of my friend the Castle.”
“But I am too young, sir, for such an appointment.”
“Not at all, you blockhead; although you get a magistracy in the paragraph, you don't imagine, I expect, you should get one directly. No, no; there are gradations in all things. For instance, now,--first a Chief Constableship of Police; next, a County Inspectorship; and thirdly, a Stipendiary Magistracy. It is aisy to run you through the two first in ordher to plant you in the third--eh? As for me I'm snug enough, unless they should make me a commissioner, of excise or something of that sort, that would not call me out upon active duty but, at all events, there's nothing like having one's eye to business, and being on the lookout for an opportunity.”