“Well, let’s go in here and have a Drink before you go.”]
[Illustration: _Urchin_ (_to companion over the way_).--“Ow would _that_ suit yer, Bill?”]
[Illustration: “Did you go to Smith’s burying?”
“Yes, I _did_, an’ a measly affair it was. _Tea_ and Bread and Butter!
I’ve buried two ’usbands, but, thank goodness, I buried ’em both with Seedy Cake an’ ’Am Sandwiches.”]
[Illustration: “I want you to take me to St. John’s Wood, Cabbie.”
“All right, sir, but would you mind getting in on the other side so as the old horse don’t see yer.”]
[Illustration: “I don’t so much mind your sneaking my Pewters, but when it comes to bringing ’em back in the shape of ’arf crowns it’s a bit too much.”]
[Illustration: _Bill Snooks_ (_reading from a fashion paper_).--“‘To be really well dressed a man’s clothes should have the appearance of having been worn once or twice.’ What _O_!”]
[Illustration: “What’s ’e done, Guv’nor?]
[Illustration: _The Mayor of Middle Wallop_ (_who is interested in the decoration of new theatre_).--“Oo’s that gentleman you’re painting?”
_Artist_.--“That is William Shakespeare.”
_The M. of M. W_.--“’As ’e ever done anything for Middle Wallop?”
_Artist_.--“No, Sir, not that I’m aware of.”
_The M. of M. W._--“Then paint ’im out and paint ME in.”]
[Illustration: _Bailiff_ (_who has been well treated and settled with_).--“Well, good-bye, sir. See you again ‘soon,’ sir, I ’ope!”]
[Illustration: “Nuts for the Monkeys, Sir?”]
[Illustration: _American Million Heiress_.--“And have you _really_ got a coronet?”
_Lord Hardup_.--“Well--ah--yes--at least--I mean--I’ve got the ticket.”]
[Illustration: _Visitor to Lunatic Asylum_.--“Is that Clock right?”
_The Dotty One_.--“O course it ain’t, or it wouldn’t be _here_”]
[Illustration: _Visitor to Lunatic Asylum which is undergoing structural improvements_ (_to harmless lunatic who is extremely busy wheeling barrow upside down_).--“You ought to turn that barrow the other way up!”
_Harmless Lunatic_ (_knowingly_).--“I did yesterday, _but_ they put _Bricks_ in it.”]
_Inmate to new arrival_.--“What, _you_ mad _too_? _So_ glad.”]
[Illustration: _Condoling Friend_ (_to recently Bereaved Widower_).--“It must be awfully hard to lose one’s Wife.”
_The Bereaved_--“Yes,---- it’s almost _impossible_”]